overheard in new york

my roommate's amazingly flamboyant best friend is vacationing with us this week.

"should i wear the blouse? i'm not sure if i can wear it out of the house. it's very balenciaga. or military kitsch. but it's also smock-like. i don't know.

"i'm thinking the tighter the better. do you have any jeans that would be hot with these? do i need anything underneath it? i mean, is it too bare? is it like i'm not wearing a shirt at all?

"this is very 80s nouveau. this would be more galliano. this would be more sailor. i think i like that sillouette. flare or not to flare? i don't know!

"now, what do i do with my hair? i can't wear it smooth and pretty with this shirt.

"hmmm, i would like a belt that's black and big and has an alligator's head on it. do you have anything like that?"