a prisoner in my own home.

i am locked inside my apartment. this is not by choice. apparently, the lock is broken on my front door and i did not know this until a.m. unsuccessfully attempted to unlock it from the outside. we called martin, our super, but he is uptown and will not be here for another 45 minutes--and then he may have to call one of the number of 24-hour locksmiths in the city. a.m. mentioned blowtorching, but surely this was in jest.

if the lock is not repaired by tomorrow morning, i will have to climb out my window and gingerly scale down my fire escape (four floors!) to go to work. won't that be hilarious?

in other tear-inducing news (spoiler alert!): nate is dead.

my back aches, my pants too tight.

being a former marching flag corps captain, as well as a fan of all things marching band-related ("tear it up", "hollaback girl", "drumline", "tusk"), it's only natural that i'm excited about this collective.

lean back.

kb, you must be tommy the clown for halloween! you must!

"rize" was excellent. highly recommended. i couldn't help but krump in my seat while watching it.

following the film, kate moss and i had a delicious dinner at red bamboo (where she had the vegan soul chicken nuggets and miso soup and i had the vegan grilled chicken salad with carrot ginger dressing--and we split a bottle of the second-to-cheapest merlot). we discussed the merits of sex work, among other topics.

i had convinced myself during dinner that i wasn't wearing a proper outfit for a night out on the town, and so kate moss and i ventured to urban outfitters, where i purchased an overpriced necklace on credit.

when my outfit was complete, we headed to rififi for the neighborhoodies open bar (and passed james iha on the street!). again, free red stripe! i don't know if red stripe had an abundant inventory this week or what, but i've been able to procure a few free bottles.

i ended up heading home afterwards, terribly tired due to my vodka-shooting the night prior. kate moss headed to a party in bk, but i've yet to hear from her. let's hope she got herself into a mess of trouble.

everything is.

my friends, doing vodka shots until 3:30 in the morning does not a clear head make. nonetheless, i have to give some props to the bartender at the boat: she turned me onto crystal palace, which apparently beat out grey goose in a blind, albeit non-scientific, taste test.

she also bought me a beer, god bless her.

(the boat is a bar that reminds me so much of the ol' engine room, it's almost frightening.)

today the plan is to head to finally see "rize". i do love david lachappelle and have been meaning to get my ass to see some clown-krumping for some time.

in other movie news, have you heard about this nudie-cutie? sounds terribly boring, doesn't it? go ahead and just send me your ten bucks, because here's a plot summary: boy and girl fuck for 66 minutes to franz ferdinand.

god.

the ol' baby-on-the-corner trick, eh?

a peanut butter and banana sandwich for dinner again.

(see, kids? new york is amazing.)

a.c. just called and he's at some joint called soda bar near grand army plaza. not so cheap, i've heard, but i'm going to hop onto the n train and head out in his direction.

i'm tired but i know that i'll get my second wind somewhere over the east river.

...plus, i went to the gym after work and so i deserve to down a few beers.

or whiskey shots.

my current job sitch.

i usually enjoy what i do--nutritional counseling for patients who are at-risk of developing cardiovascular disease (what a mouthful!)--but lately i've realized that there are no moves to make in this company (that aren't lateral) and the pay ain't that hot.

thus, in the last couple of weeks, i have applied for a number of other gigs.

today i get a call from THE FUCKIN' CITY OF NEW YORK. hurrah! i love government gigs. you can't beat the benefits and the vacation time and there are so many jobs to be had that bouncing from one to another is actually encouraged.

this particular position is in research and i have an interview in two weeks.

we'll see.

when you gotta go.

a.c. and i just ran to my apartment from chelsea. why didn't we just pee at the bar? i don't know. i thought i was going to die, but as a good hostess, i let him go first.

i showed up at the bar with kate moss and a.c. was waiting for us outside. we all downed three room-temperature beers in a couple of minutes flat, because the open bar was shutting down shortly. (can't beat free red stripe, even if it's lukewarm, right?) had nice conversation with the two of 'em, as well as with people (my bro, tim, chrissy, v.--look for her in the new old navy commercial! she's the "obligatory ethnic girl" in a car on her way to pick cordoroys on a farm) i hadn't seen in a while. 'twas a good time.

my dinner tonight is a mini bag of smart-pop-!-orville-redenbacher-popcorn. i might eat some natural peanut butter straight out of the jar, but that remains to be seen.

oh, and the best conversation of the night? a.c. and kate moss attempting to talk me out of a career move towards the dominatrix arts.

(...and the d.j. played archers of loaf, flin flon, and pavement! too good, i tell you.)

living the dream.

kate moss and i are planning a fall trip upstate to this lovely location and we can't wait. the drive alone will be worth the cost of admission.

free drinks tonight in chelsea.

plans for a pool party complete with champagne next weekend down the shore.

could this be the best day ever?

btw, i brushed shoulders with isaac last night and was in awe. he's so dashing!

photo: www.fg.ru

cry me a river.

kate moss just emailed me and said that she had heard there was a serial killer on the loose in new york. seeing as i read local blogs voraciously and hadn't heard anything (not to mention that i'm on top of anything that will potentially be 'ripped from the headlines' and made into a future "law & order" episode), i was a bit skeptical.

she wrote:

serial killer was told to me by word of mouth, supposedly some guy is playing a tape of a baby crying and when the victim comes to check on it, he kills them. it could be a lie, but would be slightly more interesting, though tragic, if it were real.

well, kate moss, here you go.

look out.

not that i take this shit lightly, but the ap reports:

New York subway and bus riders are being told to look out for passengers with clenched fists, or who are sweating profusely, or reek of excessive cologne — all possible indicators of a suicide bomber.

hell, half of nyc is sweating profusely on the aforementioned icky train platforms and within the non a/c'd trains.

...and there has been many a day that i've unfortunately sat next to a man with excessive cologne on the train. now i have another reason to be leery.

what is the joke?

this opens on friday.

shrug.

this is certainly not a knitting blog, but i wanted to share what i'm in the middle of making--and perhaps by sharing, it will encourage me to actually FINISH IT. i'll post some pictures of the work-in-progress soon.

kate moss used to call me "shrug"--back when we met in 1999--and this, because our friend, mariana and i both bought matching long-sleeve black shrugs from t.j. maxx and wore them incessantly. it was the perfect accessory, but i suppose only mariana and i could appreciate them, because wearing them incited many laughs.

fast-forward six years and god-and-everybody around this city is wearing them. i prefer this short-sleeved version and will have my own hand-knit shrug shortly. i hope.

photo: www.glamypre.com

fried green tomatoes.

my friend, marty, has informed me that the recipe for chow chow to which i linked was not authentic, as the recipe did not contain green tomatoes. sorry 'bout that.

there was a place in athens that used to offer fried green tomato sandwiches with sun-dried tomato cream cheese and omg, this shit was incredible. cripsy, creamy, salty, tangy, sweet, tart, doughy. nothing better!

another delicious fried green tomato recipe.

...and the movie.

photo: www.iamtonyang.com

moving to a new address.

(let's hope i can be a little bit smarter this time.)

hot as sin.

gothamist has a good ongoing discussion about the hottest train platforms in the city. i'm going to have to agree with the person who mentioned the n/r/q/w platform at 57th. i believe this is the one upon which a.c. and i found ourselves after the dinosaur jr. show a few weeks ago--though i may be wrong. what i do remember is waiting (impatiently) for a train (n or q, i believe) to take us to union square before i melted into a gooey puddle before his eyes.

speaking of that guy, a.c. and i had a nice dinner in his backyard tonight: a cookout complete with veggie burgers (marty! impressive chow chow!), baked beans, and yuengling. it took us heading to one dusty bodega (are there any other kind?), roaming the aisles of target, and wandering aimlessly around pathmark before we found our goods, but we did it up in style. only elements missing were religious candles on the patio table and the crunk jamz i so desperately want to hear this summer. still, a.c.: you can throw a cookout.

the ride home over the manhattan bridge? occasionally scary, but tonight--just gorgeous.

celeb alert!

one of the more amusing benefits of living in new york is seeing guys like this walking around with an entourage near my place of employment.

he was perfectly coiffed, as would be expected.

holy fuck!

is nate dead?!

mundane.

finally made this, but doubled the recipe and added sunflower seeds and a can of chickpeas to bulk it up a bit. it made quite a bit--and i'll be eating it for lunch all week.

didn't do much today. woke up at 1:00 pm, and i haven't done that in years. i had planned on doing laundry, buying the times and coffee, hanging out in the park... but did none of this. instead, i read the times online, ate carob-covered raisins, made the aforementioned salad, and watched a part of this on trio.

i was happy to receive a call from k.b. today, to whom i haven't talked in a while. i think if i had been in athens, k.b. and i would have hit the pool and perhaps bombay cafe, before picking up ms. t. and watching "six feet under."

(this also makes me miss burger-and-a-beer nights at clocked, which have apparently ceased.)

all in all, as i told a.m., it was "very much a well-deserved 'me' day."

i need more like it.

coney island.

spent the day on the beach, dodging syringes and men wielding video cameras.

one of the more, um, charming features of coney island is that sketchy-looking individuals will roam the beach with food and beer in their backpacks and yell out, "corona! budweiser! ice cold beer! newports! mangoes! tamales!", usually while also ringing a bell or honking a horn. we didn't partake, but did end up having a pina colada and many beers at cha cha's, a boardwalk bar.

(didn't hit the cyclones game as planned, but drinking beer in the shade with lovely ladies was probably a better choice of activity, anyway.)

i'm a bit red, despite slathering on the sunscreen.

i can't wait to sleep in tomorrow, stretched out in bed, with the a/c on high.

candlelight.

flowers, candle, cutlery, and j.a.'s forearm at barrio chino.

courtney: dead.

it's not true, but i love how ted casablanca got me riled up with this:

There are differing opinions on precisely what happened with the pickle-prone star, but take a gander at what I've been told so far: "911 was called," relayed a close Courtney companion. "She was taken to Cedars, where she actually flatlined."

supposedly, courtney now runs the stairs of pepperdine university with pam anderson to expedite post-rehab weight loss.

the poor girl. she's had it bad.

it's in the bag.

constitutional issues aside, the question is: will this even make much of an impact? will it act as a deterrent to would-be bombers?

trout fishing in america.

the tequila came in the form of two delicious margaritas.

i woke up in brooklyn this morning. i spent my night eating expensive chocolate and drinking expensive wine on a brooklyn rooftop. i roamed all over two boroughs attempting to rent "el topo", but couldn't find a copy. (note: catching a cab near astor place at midnight is near impossible.)

this, because spending time with j.a. means adventure and long talks and many laughs--and even after a year and a half, we both remember the most minute details about each other.

people i don't know.

as most who know me are aware, i fell in love with "me and you and everyone we know" when i saw it back in june--and have highly recommended it to all who will listen since that time. the film inspired me to learn more about its writer/director/star, miranda july and in my research, i happened upon this site.

i'm contemplating the most recent assignment: draw a picture of your friend's friend.

some friends' friends whom i haven't the pleasure to meet include:
s.h.'s boyfriend, david
kate moss's friend, lara
a.m.'s ex-boyfriend, walter
a.c.'s ex-bandmate, wes

if you are my friend and have a friend whom you have mentioned to me on occasion--and whom i have not met--remind me, please.

...and again with the michael pitt.

this movie: groan-inducing or poignant tribute?

hot lovin'.

is an $18 pitcher of stella just ridiculous? a.c. and i had two of 'em last night to celebrate the new job. had a great time. he and i discussed, among other topics, the posibility of me penning a book on the adult entertainment industry a la legs mcneil.

[when i first moved to the city, i posted an ad on craigslist seeking a position as an administrative assistant in the aforementioned industry. i wanted to learn the, um, ins and outs, but without having to disrobe. i'm merely fascinated by the motivations of those who enter into it. i got three responses--and all asked for me to attach a picture with my resume. damn.]

obligitory health update (i am at work, you see): proud to report that i successfully got to the gym at 7:00 am--two days in a row!--and caught up on my celeb gossip while reading the recent issue of star. now currently munching on a snack of fresh blueberries--and lunch is homemade curried tofu "egg" salad on whole wheat. so good. kate moss is down the street at grand central munching on rice cakes with black beans and spinach.

tonight: tequila. apparently, one is supposed to sip the stuff at room temperature, but i'm afraid that may be a cause for vomiting. not hot. i may try something along the lines of this instead.

in other news, the screening of this last night (which i did not attend, as i was kickin' it with a.c.) reminded me of z., as he is a fan of the director. i hope he is well.

raise a toast.

major props to my dear friend, a.c., who scored a gig with this esteemed company. he's leaving nyc in two weeks. i will miss him terribly, but know that he is onto bigger and better ventures.

...we've been friends for eleven years and will remain so, even with a country between us.

a.c.: you done good.

lick, shoot, suck.

tomorrow night, i am meeting j.a. for tequila here. now, i can dig a margarita every now and again, but i've never been one to sip (or shoot) tequila.

i foresee myself dancing on a table by night's end.

it's a scavenger hunt.

yesterday, i saw three oddities while walking home from work:

a) a man with half of his face missing
b) a man whose arms were about 50% longer than average

...and the most perplexing/disturbing:

c) a man who was (ahem) assisting a young boy pee in the street. the child was not using his own hands, if you catch my drift. my first thought was, "only in new york..." but about 15 seconds later i thought, "no, that's just wrong anywhere."

a few blocks later, i randomly ran into j.b. on lexington. she was killing time before meeting up with two other ladies to check out an apartment. she was looking sassy and wonderful, as always. i love running into people--it makes the city seem so small.

most amazing.

total danger
Originally uploaded by SCARNSWORTH.

speechless!

rants!

the most obvious brow-furrower at the moment has got to be this.

other things getting to me at the moment:

1. all things dubya-related (as always).
2. my lack of ability to get to the gym.
3. my lack of ability to finish my knitting project.
4. my lack of ability to stick to plans i make with friends days in advance (sorry again, kate moss).
5. the growing pile of clothes in my room.
6. the humidity.
7. my hair (see above).
8. the lack of crunk jamz playing on my stereo this summer.
9. the lack of potlucks, cookouts, night-swims, porch swings, and fireflies in the city.

...however, (props to hova and k.b.), i'd have to think hard to come up with 99 problems for myself. things are looking up.

it's just that pesky scotus problem, is all.
as nina totenberg stated, "he's hardly a woman."

raves!

i can't even get over how amazingly hot this man is. his hotness makes me want to buy his record. i'm sure that the record is amazing irregardless of his hotness, but damn. he is hot. i recommend you looking at his picture. often.

(i'm sure i will get shit from k.b. for squealing about s.s. like a little girl.)

update: i am now giving myself shit for squealing about s.s. like a little girl.

other things i recommend:

this movie that rocked my world a month or so ago.
this restaurant, which i sadly have not patronized in a few weeks.
this recipe, which i will make soon.
this confection, which made my ex, c.d., cry when we visited key west--because it was so delicious.

i also recommend someone taking me here (props to a.m. for the inspiration), but more importantly to this. i mean, really.

okay, now get to it!

too busy to fcuk.

saw it on a t-shirt.

so, what to do when you've double- or triple-booked yourself plans for the week? there are just too many things i want to do and not enough time in which to get them all accomplished.

in other news, part with your cash for a worthy cause.

(i'm link-happy today.)

it's a steamy one.

i can't even tell you how humid it is. it's disgusting. i was on an un-air-conditioned train this morning and could feel the sweat rolling down the middle of my back. everyone around me fanned themselves while frowning.

it didn't help that i had one heckuva hangover and didn't make it to the gym this morning (surprise, surprise).

how's the weather where you are?

extra tidbit of information:
i once went on a date with the nyt reporter who contributed to the story on humidity in the city. it wasn't that much fun, but he was related to senator daniel patrick moynihan, which was pretty rad.

likka!

i just got thrown out of a gay bar.

a.f. and i went to posto for dinner. i had the greek salad; he had the house salad and the white pizza. i had one glass of red; he, one of white. afterwards, we had a couple of likka drinks and then headed to the phoenix.

after a couple of rounds of video trivia, we were told we were being "too loud" and were escorted out.

i am so drunk, i can barely see straight.

i am supposed to head to the gym in six hours. let's see if that happens.

it's like something from wickerman!

thank you to scarnsworth, my bro, a.c., kate moss, and others for helping me to pick out two pictures to send into flickrati nyc.


i'll keep you posted.

leaks.

...and the republicans called john kerry a flip-flopper? this loyalty to rove is so transparent, it's absurd.

from the ap:

Bush said in June 2004 that he would fire anyone in his administration shown to have leaked information that exposed the identity of Wilson's wife, Valerie Plame. On Monday, however, he added the qualifier that it would have be shown that a crime was committed.

the desperate housewives contingent.

Summer Babes
Originally uploaded by noella 78.

props to kate moss for the photo--and to kennie bloggins for takin' it.

the silver seas.

kate moss and i were onto something, because the secret society of lvhrd is planning a night cruise to staten island tonight. i am disappointed, however, that we weren't clever enough to don "nautical-inspired clothing."

gothamist describing lvhrd:

It's part private club, part flashmob, part creative salon, part social experiment. Their ultimate goal is to unite creatives and leaders in their respective fields to garner change and inspire creativity.

they've closed membership; good thing i got in under the wire.

support your local cathouse.

i cannot move. can. not. move. i'm hurting in areas i didn't even know existed on my body. thank god n. kate moss (as she wishes to be known) talked me out of going to the gym this morning (or rather, gave me permission not to go).

instead, i hopped the f train back into the city with groceries in hand. will be whipping up some tofu "chicken" salad for lunches this week and some vegan crepes with stir-fried vegetables (summer squash, grape tomatoes, baby spinach, red onion, garlic, and green pepper) for dinner.

my roommates are gone; a.m. is in connecticut and a.f. is in massachusetts ("p-town" to be specific) and so i've got the place to myself for a while. am watching a documentary on the making of "high noon" on pbs, but just barely.

plans for the week: possible wine with j.a. tomorrow--but it looks as if it may fall through, music in the park with ladies on tuesday, and this on thursday. i'm exhausted just thinking about it. all i want right now is a normal-sized couch upon which i can rest and a glass of red wine.

oh, and i've all-of-a-sudden got a slight crush on this boy. pathetic? what is he--12?

the fifth burrah.

took a vacation today with n. and it was the best idea ever. took the ferry out there, happened upon a nice young man on the street who suggested the (streetside? smokestack? sassafrass?) saloon 'round the corner. while downing two pitchers, we met:

a) todd: photographer, horse-race aficionado, pennsylvania native, and sudan-bound 38-year old who looks not a day over 28.

b) georgia: todd's girlfriend, staten island native, mom-at-19, ship yard-worker and anti-ikea. the bartender insisted she took after elaine of "seinfeld", but we didn't see it.

c) tim: the aforementioned bartender. father of four. full of unfunny jokes, but a good man--he kept our pints full.

d) kevin: apparently, staten island's sole resident gay man--and birthday boy. we sang "happy birthday to you" as he was presented a large ice cream sundae, which he promptly portioned out to everyone at the bar. n. and i declined, citing veganism and "diet" as reason.

d) rachel: another bartender, looking feisty in a halter dress. she went to elementary school with kevin and had no bones about sharing a bathroom with him, as "he is a homo."

after the pitchers, we hopped the 10:00 ferry back to the city, but not before imbibing a bit more en route. met two young men on the r train on our way to downtown brooklyn and were given a tip to check out this cozy place. n. developed a small crush on a 16-year old boy in the bowling green train station who could cut a rug like nobody's business.

home now--or, rather, my home-away-from-home (bk, naturally) and ready to hit the sack. tomorrow? spinning class.

let's see if my thighs make it.

drop and give me ten, bitches.

i just got back from a boot camp-esque experience. picture me and n. crawling (no, scaling) across the floor with a woman saying, "get that butt down! be cat-like!" picture, if you will, us then crawling across the floor using only our arms as we dragged our feet behind us. i could not do this. i fell halfway across the floor. n., on the other hand, did beautifully! the class applauded.

we did ab work, core work, yoga, and my particular favorite: boxing. i found that i have a decent jab and crossover. who knew?

now n. makes tofu scramble for brunch and i sit, sipping coffee. we are to see "mad hot ballroom" "wedding crashers" (to get our frat pack fix) later, if i can peel my ass from off this couch.

seriously, y'all, i am in pain.

this shit is bananas.

it's 6:25 pm on a friday night in new york city and i am sitting in my cubicle, watching the clock. have you seen "clockwatchers"? this is me, except i am not a temp. this is actually a CAREER.

tonight: margaritas in brooklyn with n., m., b., v., t., and others. tomorrow: brighton beach (if the weather holds up). sunday: free music in the park.

i have a patient to call and she's rarely there--but tonight, i know she will be and i will try not to hurry her off the phone because what's the point? i'm here until 7:00 anyways. perhaps i should attempt to lead her into a long, winding 30 minute conversation about her nutrition habits? she has been hinting at her marital problems; perhaps i should probe?

last night: dinosaur jr. i felt like i was 18 again. a.c. was standing there, his head bobbing up and down to "freak scene". there's something to be said for enduring friendships, i believe. ten years ago, i doubt either of us would have guessed we would have been at that show--in new york--together.

i am a nostalgia-addict.