things to do in the 'burbs when you're on sabbatical

1) Decide that this is the perfect time to finally tackle Infinite Jest.
2) Look for Infinite Jest in the myriad of boxes in the garage, to no avail.
3) Decide that this is the perfect time to reread As I Lay Dying.
4) Finish knitting Mary Jane's Pithy Hat you began months ago.
5) Finish that cable-knit scarf you promised your mom weeks ago.
6) Decorate a gingerbread house.
7) Imagine ways to shrink yourself to decorate the inside of said gingerbread house.
8) Run through the neighborhood to "Treat Her Like a Lady" by Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose, over and over and over again.
9) Refresh Craigslist every thirty seconds.
10) Make lists of things to do in the 'burbs when you're on sabbatical.