flashes before your eyes

Live blogging "Lost"!

I've had two and a half beers and a two hour-long political discussion with my mom, who just admitted that she is now a registered Independent! Hurrah! (Better than being a registered Republican, IMHO.)

Just turned on "Not in Portland". Last eight minutes.

Kate realizes she's (in the words of Gob) made a big mistake. Off they go with the dude who was Alex-ized (in "A Clockwork Orange" terms) to the beach, leaving behind Juliet and um, Alex.

Oh, shit. This is when eyeliner-man and Ethan Rom (Other Man!) appear.

Did I mention that I dig Juliet now? I wasn't sure what to make of her in the first six episodes of Season Three, but yeah, I dig her. I like the juxtaposition of her attitude off-island (sheep) with her attitude on-island (bad-ass). But, y'know, not really bad-ass, 'cause she's a captive, too. But, indeed, she was a captive off-island: a captive of her ex-husband, of her relationship with her ex-husband, of her sister, of herself. I'd like to know when she turned the corner on-island.

Fuck, what is this? Literary analysis?

Here's eyeliner dude!

Why does my roommate insist on spending all of her time in her room? Even when she knows that I love "Lost" and she watches it and I'm more than happy to watch it with her in the living room and...

"Hit by a bus!"

...anyhow, maybe my roommate doesn't like me.

Okay, here we go. Back to the beach. I think it's gonna be Desmond-heavy and I'm happy as a clam.

Hurley! I've missed you so much. Desmond, too. All we need is Sayid and Locke... Locke! There you are! Oh, this is a great episode already and we're merely watching flashbacks from earlier seasons.

SAYID! LOCKE! TOGETHER WITH HURLEY! and Charlie.

Just got a text message from Kate Moss that reads: "Sayid!!!" Indeed.

Oh, Desmond is off! Running like a maniac. Strippin' off the clothes. Swimming. What's he doing? Swimming towards someone! There's Sun with Aaron. Oh God, it's Claire. Drowning. Oh shit. Hurley still hasn't lost an ounce of weight. How did Desmond know that she was out there? WTF. Not breathing. There she goes. WTF. He's psychic!

Hurley says, "He sees the future, dude." HMOG.

I love this show.

Kate Moss text: "Wow!"

Indeed.

Commercial Break One: Was that just a Kleenex commercial capitalizing on Hurricane Katrina? Okay, that deserves a HMOGWTF.

We're back and Desmond is pining for Penny. Claire looks like she wasn't almost-dead. Her hair is shorter or something. She looks different. Charlie is skeptical.

"If he could predict the future, he wouldn't have ended up here would he?" Good point, Brit. Unless the bloody island made him psychic! Duh. If it cured Locke of his paralysis and Charlie of his withdrawals and Sun of her infertility, surely it can cure someone of their inability to predict the future.

Desmond is hot. I totally wanna hang out on a beach with DESMOND! AND HURLEY! and Charlie and drink whiskey and sing songs about drinking and fighting and girls with one leg and a heart of gold.

Oh no! The numbers! Flashback to all-hell-breaks-loose at the end of Season Two.

Desmond flashback.

Wait, huh? The island was a dream? A drunken hallucination? Desmond wakes up with red paint after turning the safety key and he's in his flat with Penny? Are they pulling a "Dallas" on us?

Commercial Break Two: A boring KY ad.

Oh, off topic: I'm reading "The Devil in the White City" and it's pretty damn good. I recommend it to anyone who is interested in history and/or true crime. It was a finalist for National Book Award. J was a huge fan and recommend I read it over a year ago and I'm just now getting to it, between "Lolita" and "White Noise".

Okay, we're back.

The beeping. The microwave. Sounds like the Hatch. WTF is going on? Okay, wait: are his dreams a glimpse into his future? And thus, he's in a constant state of deja vu? I think I'm going to have to scour the fan boards tomorrow, sadly. Is this show too smart for me or are the two-and-a-half-beers getting to me?

Okay, the race around the world... yes, he's dreamed the race, he's dreamed the island, and now he wakes up, and everything that he has dreamed is coming true. Right? Agreed?

I just texted KM: "I think he dreamed his future of the island and now he's living his present and the island is his future!" HMOG, again.

Charlie! Singing Oasis songs! This shit is getting so good. I am so happy that I love this show and watch it on a regular basis. Best show on television. (Besides "60 Minutes", of course.)

Commercial Break Three: KM makes a good point: If this is Desmond's past, wouldn't Charlie remember Desmond from England after they were on the island? Ah, yes. Maybe the island has fucked with the memories of everyone? I mean, I know they can remember some things, but perhaps they've developed selective memories -- in such that they can't recall anyone whose paths they've crossed prior to arriving at the island? This is a mind fuck, indeed. Oh, and I'm not paying attention to the commercials.

Okay, we're back.

Desmond swears that he wasn't dreaming his future, but I'm not so sure. "There's no such thing as time travel, Des. From what I understand, true love can be just as unlikely."

Oh, god. The jeweler is psychic. This is freaking me out. Must call KM.

Commercial Break Four: Of Montreal goes to Outback, tonight... KM thinks that he's on the island, he's dreaming, and he's dreaming of his past, albeit a distorted past.

Okay, we're back.

Scary jeweler. Scary, psychic jeweler.

It's back to free will vs. destiny. This topic has woven itself throughout the last two and a half seasons and it's been one of my favorite themes. He sees the picture and he realizes that the jeweler was right: he'll be going to the island and that is his destiny. He breaks up with Penny.

Ring. Into the river.

Commercial Break Five: I'm tired. Zzzz.

Okay, we're back.

So, Desmond was unconscious this whole time... dreaming after turning the key and imploding the hatch. KM was right! Smart lady.

"Please, let me go back. Let me go back one more time. I'll do it right. I'll do it right this time. I'll change it."

"You can't change it. No matter what you do. You can't change it."

"When I turned that key, my life flashed before my eyes and then I was back in the jungle and still on this island -- but those flashes didn't stop. I wasn't seeing Claire, Charlie, I was seeing you."

"I tried, Brother. I tried twice to save you, but the universe has a way of course-correcting."

"I'm sorry 'cause no matter what I try to do -- you're gonna die, Charlie."

WOW!