catch-22

Got off the phone with Kennie Bloggins tonight and I promised him a "Lost" live blog. I told him to live blog his evening: eatin' dinner, doin' some school work. Did you do it, KB?

Oh, it's on! I'm watching the last two minutes of "One of Us" and Juliet is giving me goosebumps.

There's no way that Jack has been duped by Juliet. He's got an ace up his sleeve. I have to believe this -- and I don't even love Jack anymore. I mean, yeah, he is Dr. Hero and all, but a touch boring.

"See you in a week," says Ben. Ominously.

Now, reader(s), we know that this is a Desmond -centric episode and apparently there's going to be some Nietzschean philosophy espoused... and here it goes!

Okay, "Previously on 'Lost'": We know that Desmond can see into the future. We know that he's trying to save Charlie. (Oh! Does this mean that Charlie's gonna die in THIS episode?! Fuck!)

Why does Charlie have his guitar on this trek into the jungle?

ljud;sg0238gflejjpf09urwuoujgruffldjfu949tjfwkfnldsjflasdfjlfjofo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT! Okay, um, we just saw one of Desmond's flashes. Charlie got an arrow through his neck and gooey blood just oozed out of his mouth and... shit! Amazing. I love Desmond. "Someone's coming."

Desmond in prison. No, a monastery. His hair is so short. Taking a vow of silence. Your path has led you here, and now you're ONE OF US. "Welcome, brother." Desmond was a monk?

Hurley is the worst liar, albeit an adorable one. And I love his hair in a ponytail. Is that a scrunchie?

Does that cable go to the Hydra? (No, Jen, it went to the Flame before it was blown up.)

I've been wondering lately: did we ever see Sawyer on the plane? I rewatched the pilot episode the other day and there's just something that doesn't sit right with me. Maybe I'm looking for a twist. Was his name on the manifest? What if his name isn't really James Ford? Oh, look! Kate is half-dressed. Is this Sweeps time?

Sawyer's tryin' to get laid again. "You need me to make you a mix tape?" Um, Sawyer, I wouldn't need a mix tape from you.

I swear, Hurley's gotten BIGGER since being on the island.

So, Desmond wants Charlie to die -- or, rather, he wants to fit all of the pieces into a puzzle because the flash included Penny, and if he gets all of the other pieces together, Penny must be that "someone" who is coming? Am I following this correctly? Desmond-centric episodes are a bit of a mindfuck.

They're whistling the theme from "The Bridge On the River Kwai". I should know more about that movie other than that tune.

Moriah wine. Let's wiki that shit, too. while we're at it.

"I'm sure something will go wrong soon enough." No shit, Jack.

Kate is totally hitting on Jack. What a little tart! Oh, but look at Jack cozying on up to Juliet. Kate, honey, you should have thought of that when...

Oh, well look at this. Kate and Sawyer again. This girl is gonna end up knocked up within about ten minutes. I know that this is Juliet's plan: she needs Kate to get pregnant. She needs to do whatever she can (i.e., getting close to Jack) to drive those two fertile kids together.

OMG, something just fell into the ocean.

OMG.

WTF?

Was that a UFO?!

(How many three-lettered acronyms can I use in a row?)

LOL.

Okay, we're back. Who the hell is Ruth? She looks young enough to be Desmond's daughter and she was his fiancee?

Oh, look at this ping-pong pissing contest! "Finally! Something I can beat you at!" Aw, Sawyer. I heart you.

Penny's picture in "Catch-22" in the tree! Is Penny on the island? Are we just gonna bring everyone to the island? (Speaking of which, I have not forgotten about you, Anthony Cooper. Where are you? Where is Locke? Are you partying on that sub that wasn't blown up?)

Awww, Sawyer! He brought Kate a mix tape! "Why'd you jump me last night?" Um, it's because she's jealous AND 'cause the Others need to get her preggers stat! One pregnant Lostie is not enough, you see.

So, it's confirmed: Desmond is gonna let Charlie die so that he can see Penny. Something's gotta give, though. There's gotta be a twist. 13 minutes left.

(Sometimes I forget that the Losties want to get rescued. We don't want them to get rescued. Nothing's been explained yet!)

Okay, here we go, back in the jungle -- the flash that Des saw at the beginning. He sees the arrow. He sees the wire. Will he do it?! Will he let Charlie die?!

He saved him! He saved him again! This is truly a no-win sitch for our friend Des.

Now they're splitting up to find this beacon (aw, and I thought it was a UFO!). Des explains that saving Charlie is pointless because it's like God testing Abraham.

Um, wait. There is someone in the tree.

It can't be Penny, right? It's gotta be, oh, I don't know, that hottie Christian Shepherd or Eko, or Smokie, or Ana Lucia (I really miss her) or someone that we're not expecting. The writers are setting this up too well. It won't be Penny. It won't be Penny.

It's...

Who the hell are you?!

(BTW, that link is a spoiler.)