it's hard to believe

I know I should quit smoking. I'm here watching YouTubes of Tina as Sarah and waiting for the phone to ring. It'll ring eventually. Maybe in six months. Maybe in six minutes.

I can't tell you how I feel. It's nervousness and excitement and happiness and wonder and fear all wrapped up into one Bloody Mary.

(Scarny, you get me?)

I've painted my nails a garish shade of red and sloppily so.

I AM SO HAPPY I LIVE HERE.