are secrets a tunnel to a dreamworld where you control events?

SM arrives today and Kennie Bloggins arrives tomorrow for what shall be an amazing birthday weekend, surely. On the big day, Friday, Scarny and I are having dinner with four others (SM, KB, Kate Moss, and my bro) and then shall scurry to a bar in the East Village before ending the night at an old local favorite.

I feel really good about turning 30. I feel really lucky that I have such an amazing group of friends and family.

In less celebratory news, last night's action included me spending four hours attempting to put together a recently-acquired chest of drawers. The instructions clearly stated: "This piece is HEAVY. Two people are REQUIRED for assembly." Who was I to call, however? This is probably the only time in the last year that I wished I had a boyfriend or some shit.

(I never did finish assembling the thing. I sliced my thumb open, bled all over its nice white finish, and installed a drawer upside down. I'm pretty sure it's a lost cause.)

In the course of putting the dresser together, I had forgotten to eat dinner and thus, scarfed down two steamed dumplings (small, cold) covered with Sriracha sauce while standing in front of an open refrigerator at 11:00 PM.

Bring on vacation.

initial impressions

I warn you: I really know nothing about fashion. Nonetheless, some thoughts about tonight's red carpet stroll:

I think J.Lo looks aMAZing. I've heard she's done the Grecian goddess thing quite a bit lately, but who cares? She pulls that shit off.

Rachel Weisz does NOT need that necklace.

Penelope Cruz's dress is incredible.

I'm digging Cameron Diaz's white dress and green drop earrings. ANTM's Jay Manuel didn't love the hem, but I disagree.

Maggie Gyllenhaal is rockin' two Fall '07 trends: feathers and black & blue. I looooove it.

Nicole Kidman looks like a Christmas present.

Naomi Watts is obviously pregnant.

Jennifer Hudson's jacket is distracting.

Meryl Streep? Yawn.

More soon. Maybe.

go fly a kite

Boy, last night's "Lost" sucked.

I'm not the only one who thought so.

I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth when I saw Bai Ling and her obvious double-sided tape utilization on the beach. Gross. What the hell does this do to move the plot along? And why didn't they give us any more info about Cindy and the kids? And could I care less about Kate and Sawyer right now?

I hate to say it, but it was a waste of an hour.

let's play hardball

Counting down to "Lost" time, y'all. To live blog or not to live blog?

(Much love to KB.)

The Veep and I exchanged cell phone numbers today. He initiated the exchange, of course. We had a twenty-minute discussion after work about where I'm headed in the company. He gently discouraged me from beginning a doctoral program in the relatively near future, as he says (and I quote!), "You are definitely going places here. I give it six months: you won't be sitting where you're sitting now."

It sounded a lot less dirty when he said it, though. Don't worry.

(Oh, and I wasn't really thinking of getting a doctorate anytime soon. I just casually mentioned that it's something I might pursue in the future.)

We also discussed such thrilling topics as how fast we can run on the treadmill, his suave phone voice, and my love/hate relationship with public transportation. He said (and I quote!) "We need to get you a car."

Um, yes, Veep. We do.

Finally, my horoscope:

Money issues can either be very good or quite difficult during the next weeks, but either way, you want to spend to have fun. Just remember that what you can spend may necessarily limit what you are able to do.

Oh, hell no. Ain't gonna be no limits on nothin' -- not when KB and SM are flying into town in a week to spend days of debauchery with me, Scarny, and KM for the big birthday bash.

Charge it!

your boyfriend is younger than my boyfriend

Brunch Club NYC was resurrected today with a meeting at Enid's, an old haunt I would frequent with the Agent back in a former life. Joining me and Scarny were KM and former Athenian (and delightful artiste), SD. 'Twas a good time all around, what with fried grits for Scarnsworth and Hungry Bear pour moi.

(Oh, and two Bloodys a piece.)

Post-brunch brought the requisite meeting of Movie Club with Scarny and we saw this. Who knew pedophilia was so hot? Oh, that's right: Nabokov.

I think it might be time for a meeting of Nap Club now.

hieronymus

This will only appeal to "Lost" viewers.

Some Easter Eggs I either missed due to live blogging or was too dumb to figure out -- that I've read on the blogs...

The word "namaste" is written backwards on the painting of the polar bear in Penny's dad's office

Another painting in the office is the same painting done by Claire's boyfriend off the island

The delivery guy says he has a package "for 815" = "4 8 15..."

The guy with the red shoes dies with his feet sticking out a la "The Wizard of Oz" -- obviously, not the first time the movie has been referenced

The Dharma logo was on the red shoes the guy was wearing

Ads for Bubbies diapers, the Hanso Corporation, Oceanic, and Apollo candy bars can be seen at the football stadium on TV

We know that Charlie sings "Wonderwall" to Des, but the exact lyric is "You're gonna be the one who saves me"

And an exciting Easter Egg from "Not in Portland":

During the "Clockwork Orange" scene, if you play the film backwards, there is a woman repeating the phrase "Only fools are enslaved by time and space"

So, Scarny, you posit that when Des woke up after turning the key, it was akin to Bill Murray waking up on G'hog Day -- and Des will continue to go through his life, again and again, reliving the same thing up until the point he turns the key, until he "fixes" something?

great ideology creates great times

Scarny and I dream of a birthday celebration like this...

flashes before your eyes

Live blogging "Lost"!

I've had two and a half beers and a two hour-long political discussion with my mom, who just admitted that she is now a registered Independent! Hurrah! (Better than being a registered Republican, IMHO.)

Just turned on "Not in Portland". Last eight minutes.

Kate realizes she's (in the words of Gob) made a big mistake. Off they go with the dude who was Alex-ized (in "A Clockwork Orange" terms) to the beach, leaving behind Juliet and um, Alex.

Oh, shit. This is when eyeliner-man and Ethan Rom (Other Man!) appear.

Did I mention that I dig Juliet now? I wasn't sure what to make of her in the first six episodes of Season Three, but yeah, I dig her. I like the juxtaposition of her attitude off-island (sheep) with her attitude on-island (bad-ass). But, y'know, not really bad-ass, 'cause she's a captive, too. But, indeed, she was a captive off-island: a captive of her ex-husband, of her relationship with her ex-husband, of her sister, of herself. I'd like to know when she turned the corner on-island.

Fuck, what is this? Literary analysis?

Here's eyeliner dude!

Why does my roommate insist on spending all of her time in her room? Even when she knows that I love "Lost" and she watches it and I'm more than happy to watch it with her in the living room and...

"Hit by a bus!"

...anyhow, maybe my roommate doesn't like me.

Okay, here we go. Back to the beach. I think it's gonna be Desmond-heavy and I'm happy as a clam.

Hurley! I've missed you so much. Desmond, too. All we need is Sayid and Locke... Locke! There you are! Oh, this is a great episode already and we're merely watching flashbacks from earlier seasons.

SAYID! LOCKE! TOGETHER WITH HURLEY! and Charlie.

Just got a text message from Kate Moss that reads: "Sayid!!!" Indeed.

Oh, Desmond is off! Running like a maniac. Strippin' off the clothes. Swimming. What's he doing? Swimming towards someone! There's Sun with Aaron. Oh God, it's Claire. Drowning. Oh shit. Hurley still hasn't lost an ounce of weight. How did Desmond know that she was out there? WTF. Not breathing. There she goes. WTF. He's psychic!

Hurley says, "He sees the future, dude." HMOG.

I love this show.

Kate Moss text: "Wow!"

Indeed.

Commercial Break One: Was that just a Kleenex commercial capitalizing on Hurricane Katrina? Okay, that deserves a HMOGWTF.

We're back and Desmond is pining for Penny. Claire looks like she wasn't almost-dead. Her hair is shorter or something. She looks different. Charlie is skeptical.

"If he could predict the future, he wouldn't have ended up here would he?" Good point, Brit. Unless the bloody island made him psychic! Duh. If it cured Locke of his paralysis and Charlie of his withdrawals and Sun of her infertility, surely it can cure someone of their inability to predict the future.

Desmond is hot. I totally wanna hang out on a beach with DESMOND! AND HURLEY! and Charlie and drink whiskey and sing songs about drinking and fighting and girls with one leg and a heart of gold.

Oh no! The numbers! Flashback to all-hell-breaks-loose at the end of Season Two.

Desmond flashback.

Wait, huh? The island was a dream? A drunken hallucination? Desmond wakes up with red paint after turning the safety key and he's in his flat with Penny? Are they pulling a "Dallas" on us?

Commercial Break Two: A boring KY ad.

Oh, off topic: I'm reading "The Devil in the White City" and it's pretty damn good. I recommend it to anyone who is interested in history and/or true crime. It was a finalist for National Book Award. J was a huge fan and recommend I read it over a year ago and I'm just now getting to it, between "Lolita" and "White Noise".

Okay, we're back.

The beeping. The microwave. Sounds like the Hatch. WTF is going on? Okay, wait: are his dreams a glimpse into his future? And thus, he's in a constant state of deja vu? I think I'm going to have to scour the fan boards tomorrow, sadly. Is this show too smart for me or are the two-and-a-half-beers getting to me?

Okay, the race around the world... yes, he's dreamed the race, he's dreamed the island, and now he wakes up, and everything that he has dreamed is coming true. Right? Agreed?

I just texted KM: "I think he dreamed his future of the island and now he's living his present and the island is his future!" HMOG, again.

Charlie! Singing Oasis songs! This shit is getting so good. I am so happy that I love this show and watch it on a regular basis. Best show on television. (Besides "60 Minutes", of course.)

Commercial Break Three: KM makes a good point: If this is Desmond's past, wouldn't Charlie remember Desmond from England after they were on the island? Ah, yes. Maybe the island has fucked with the memories of everyone? I mean, I know they can remember some things, but perhaps they've developed selective memories -- in such that they can't recall anyone whose paths they've crossed prior to arriving at the island? This is a mind fuck, indeed. Oh, and I'm not paying attention to the commercials.

Okay, we're back.

Desmond swears that he wasn't dreaming his future, but I'm not so sure. "There's no such thing as time travel, Des. From what I understand, true love can be just as unlikely."

Oh, god. The jeweler is psychic. This is freaking me out. Must call KM.

Commercial Break Four: Of Montreal goes to Outback, tonight... KM thinks that he's on the island, he's dreaming, and he's dreaming of his past, albeit a distorted past.

Okay, we're back.

Scary jeweler. Scary, psychic jeweler.

It's back to free will vs. destiny. This topic has woven itself throughout the last two and a half seasons and it's been one of my favorite themes. He sees the picture and he realizes that the jeweler was right: he'll be going to the island and that is his destiny. He breaks up with Penny.

Ring. Into the river.

Commercial Break Five: I'm tired. Zzzz.

Okay, we're back.

So, Desmond was unconscious this whole time... dreaming after turning the key and imploding the hatch. KM was right! Smart lady.

"Please, let me go back. Let me go back one more time. I'll do it right. I'll do it right this time. I'll change it."

"You can't change it. No matter what you do. You can't change it."

"When I turned that key, my life flashed before my eyes and then I was back in the jungle and still on this island -- but those flashes didn't stop. I wasn't seeing Claire, Charlie, I was seeing you."

"I tried, Brother. I tried twice to save you, but the universe has a way of course-correcting."

"I'm sorry 'cause no matter what I try to do -- you're gonna die, Charlie."

WOW!

letters and sodas

My bro has an obvious affection for the mid-1990s, as well.

some kind of wizard or something

Bill Cosby has one.

My mama has one (see left).

Tonight, the sweet Dandie Dinmont Terrier, owned by the Cos, got some props by scoring Best in Group (Terrier) at the 131st Annual Westminster Kennel Dog Show.

Mom told me that Maggie could care less because she was terribly busy with her squeezy frog toy.

It's understandable.

Tomorrow night: Best in Show.

Update: (9:03 AM, February 13, 2007)

Headline spotted on the train this morning, while reading over the shoulder of another:

"HOT DOG IS A COS CELEB!"

the breaking of a wave cannot explain the whole sea

I'm so tired of dating. So, so, so very tired. I'm taking a break from it all.

Tomorrow night, however, I have a date with an old friend (Al!) with whom I haven't spent a lick of time since the Summer of 1999 (also known, to many of you, as the Summer of Action). Will we even recognize each other? I do hope so 'cause we're meeting in Midtown West and there are few places less enjoyable in which to walk around, lost and confused, searching for your dinner partner.

Last night's Book Club meeting was a whole lotta fun, actually. We met here and had pizza and salad and wine and conversation. Out of the ten or so women who are in the club, a rousing three showed. Ha! 'Twas still a good time, however. as we actually discussed the book (!) but discussed men and work and the city and what not, too.

Next book? I'm pushing for any of the following:

"The Sound and the Fury"
"Catch-22"
"Don Quixote"
"Uncle Tom's Cabin"
"Song of Solomon"

...but I'm not sure what the others have to say about my Oprah-like choices.

done her morning duty

It may have been the four beers...

Or the fact that I was in my warm, safe living room (albeit with all lights off)...

Or the fact that I was with a Georgia resident whose ex dated my ex...

Or perhaps because it just ain't that scary...

But I watched "The Descent" last night and wasn't frightened at all! In fact, those cave creatures made me laugh, not unlike...

In other boring news, I'm off to my first book club meeting. The novel in question? That naughty piece of smut entitled "Lolita".

it's the stoli talking

It's no WDE like Caddy's, but it's up there.

We meet at Robin des Bois and he seems nice-looking enough -- was still wearing suit and tie from work (he's a civil attorney in midtown; former criminal prosecutor). I get wine, he gets a martini.

Large martini #1.

We chat about work, our families, and the other usual topics of first date conversation. He seems animated and confident at first, but as time goes on, he begins coming across as a wee bit arrogant. He seems to boast quite a bit about his accomplishments and his once-charming sarcasm was now, by large martini #2, turning annoying and off-putting.

I had the sneaking suspicion that he wasn't even that interested in me at this point but was just going through the motions, drinking his large martinis, hoping to get laid.

Despite acting like I really was lucky to be out with him, he begins constantly touching my leg from under the table, causing me to have to shift left and right to avoid him. After large martini #3 (I'm only on my second small glass of wine, by the way), he suggests we get one more drink at Zombie Hut. I honestly want to go home, but figure one more drink wouldn't kill me, especially because he's paying. We both get beer. Brooklyn Lager.

At some point in front of the fireplace, he begins relaying a story about a frat brother of his (yes, frat brother) and unabashedly remarks, "Man, that fag!" to which I respond, "Um, what? Fag?"

Oh, he loves this. He can tell that I'm slightly offended by his language. He goes off on a 10-minute diatribe about how all straight men call each other fags when women and gay men aren't around. I tell him I disagree. He says I'm fooling myself. He argues that we, as a culture, are getting far too sensitive about language and because he has no malicious intent behind the word, it's harmless. He also states that his mother is a lesbian who has been with her partner for 17 years and that he has had two gay roommates, both of whom are friends of his, so this proves he cannot be homophobic.

I don't really give a shit at his point if he's homophobic or not, and I'm all for free speech, but I do think it was poor judgement to be so loose-lipped on a first date. I suggest that we leave the bar, as it's now 12:45 in the morning. He demands that I take a cab home and I say that no, I'm fine with the train, which is a block away. He demands that "at this hour" I take a cab and that he'll pay. Um, okay. So, we get into a cab, the cab driver drops him off at his place, he leans in for a brief kiss, and then tells the cab driver to take me home. He stuffs $40 in my hand and I give him back a twenty.

The door closes and I tell the cab driver to drive me back to the train and I pocket the rest of the cash. When I get home, there is a text from him:

"Despite what you may think, I'm interested in you."

Update:

Emailed me this morning:

It was a pleasure meeting you last night. You seem like a really nice girl with a lot going for her. I'm sure you're going to do great out there in the singles market.

However, due to a number of reasons, I don't think it would be productive for us to see each other again.

Seriously, though, you seem all right. ;-) We should do it again. I'm trying to weasel out of my Saturday plans right now. If I'm successful, why don't I cook you dinner that night?

"lost" post

Oh, and I watched "Lost" last night!

I still get creeped out by the site of Ethan. Was Juliet's sister a man? Ben got it on with the French chick. "A Clockwork Orange" was referenced. Kate realized she made a mistake by choosing Sawyer. I miss Sayid and Hurley and Locke and Desmond. I hate watching the show with commercials. I hate that we have to wait another week. Sawyer's snarky comments slightly annoyed me. Couldn't they just swim to the other island? Didn't a commercial come on every three minutes? Or was it just me? How did Dharma get the bus to hit Juliet's ex-husband? We do assume that Ethan and Ben = Dharma, right? Oh, and that dude who was trying to recruit Juliet wore way too much eyeliner.

(There you go, DJ!)

Update:

Found this interesting comment:

Did it strike anyone as odd that Juliet's sister was named Rachel? Rachel, is after all, the biblical name for Jacob's wife, who despite having problems bearing children (aha!), eventually did give birth to Joseph and died giving birth to... Benjamin.

...here.

hands down

I'm altering the birthday plans a bit.

Dinner will be intimate: six people, tops, I think (though I still need to discuss this with Scarny). Drinks with a bigger group to follow. (Thank you, Kate Moss, for your input.)

I have reservations now at this place and have posted on Chowhound to get other recommendations. I've asked how Tao compares to Kittichai and I've found that those who have responded prefer Tao.

Oh, and celebs prefer Tao, too.

Date tonight here.

Date tomorrow here.

Therefore, date with myself on Saturday here.

downtown chic, fun, hip

I'm torn.

My 30th (and Scarny's 28th) is quickly approaching and all I want is to have a memorable dinner with my friends and family. I'm going to choose the restaurant and Scarny will choose how the rest of the evening plays out. (Scarny, should we hit up Bungalow 8? Bed? Duvet? Sway? Milk & Honey? Lotus? Employees Only?)

I made tentative reservations here, but am starting to think that it's not special enough. Have tossed around Buddakan, primarily, but also Kittichai in my head this evening.

(With one eye on the game, of course.)

Where should I go? Some of you will be there (and of course, if I know you, you're invited), so weigh in.

Kittichai?

Buddakan?

Somewhere else?

it's history

Yesterday I wanted to run to Chicago with Susie and campaign for Obama.

Today I want to be a Social Studies teacher.

Tonight, post-Pilates, I have a date with a fellow who worked on the Dean campaign.

(Oh, and despite losing my mind for 2.5 days, I feel better about the J sitch -- I know that total abstinence is the way to go. I know, I know... it just takes me a long time to really accept things.)

12th street

She said he's like a drug and I believe her. She said I act abused and I agree. I just need to turn it off. I just need to meet someone new.

chillin'

As I lay in bed this morning, Soterios Johnson warned me that it was nine degrees outside and that the wind chill would be negative ten today.

Negative ten!

style wars

I may have another date tomorrow night. I say "may" because he emailed me this morning and has yet to confirm. This, of course, will be looked back upon as what-they-call-"a-red-flag".

Tomorrow night is a big night for someone I know. This someone may occasionally read these here musings. (Okay, that narrows it down to what? Two? Three people?) If you're reading, I'm thinking of you.

I may have another date next week. I say "may" because we've yet to confirm a date and time and location, but his emails have been long and winding and interesting and chock full o' questions about me. He said "I can't get over your smile" which I thought could be looked back upon as what-they-call-"a-red-flag", but I kinda dug it.

The wind is howling outside. The wind chill is zero. Old Man Winter has truly arrived.

My muscles ache from the multiple sessions of weight training at the gym and from once-a-week yoga and from once-a-week Pilates but I know that they ache in a very, very, very good way.

I'm makin' some grub for Kate Moss and Scarny on Saturday; after much thought, I've decided upon the menu: the best damn chili in Brooklyn, the best damn cornbread in my 'hood, and the best damn maple apple crisp to ever come out of my kitchen. They're supplying the booze.

Y'all jealous?