in a fog

first day without the 'bucks.

i refuse to drink the bitter swill they call coffee around here, and so i'm making due with some tazo tea (their 'passion' flavor) that i swiped from the clinic down the hall last night. it's not caffeinated, but my workday is pretty light, so i'm managing.

thank you for your money-saving tips thus far. keep 'em coming. (last night i was up until 1:00 am with my credit card companies getting my apr reduced. i know, i know, i should just consolidate onto a 0% apr card, and that's on my list of things to do, but until then, at least i'm saving a little bit... maybe?)

clark howard is my new crush.

heading to my mom's this weekend (another way to save money: spend time with family who will feed you) to lay by the pool and clear my head. like i've said, whether or not i move in six months, the chunk of change i accrue will be nice to have. i did, however, contact the department head of my grad program (who has acted as a reference for me in the past) and told him of my thoughts -- and he's putting together some contacts for me in the atlanta area. i guess it's nice to stay in touch with your professors!

update: here's a link to the ING savings account to which my ol' pal allison tipped us off.

yet another update, this time from my colleague: "FYI, (my boyfriend) had this account and recently was advised to cancel it because of something happening with ING's own stock (obviously, I have no clue about the details) that would cause the rate to go down. He now has a similar account with Fidelity, so you may want to look at them for a comparison."

that's it!

i'm giving up my $43.40/month starbucks habit. i'm no longer purchasing monthly $76 unlimited metrocards (when i usually walk everywhere anyways). no more netflix. no more dropping off laundry. instead, i'm going to save $200-$300 a month for the next six months for a possible move.

if i decide not to move? it'll just go to my-spend-my-30th-birthday-in-paris fund.

i can't believe i've lived in new york for this long and have never drawn up a proper budget!

any strategies you've employed to scrimp and save? all are appreciated.

(oh, and i found out that at our clinic down the hall, free leftover food is available at 3:30 pm every day -- just picked up a provolone sandwich and an orange for dinner and a banana and light yogurt for tomorrow's breakfast!)

overheard in new york

my roommate's amazingly flamboyant best friend is vacationing with us this week.

"should i wear the blouse? i'm not sure if i can wear it out of the house. it's very balenciaga. or military kitsch. but it's also smock-like. i don't know.

"i'm thinking the tighter the better. do you have any jeans that would be hot with these? do i need anything underneath it? i mean, is it too bare? is it like i'm not wearing a shirt at all?

"this is very 80s nouveau. this would be more galliano. this would be more sailor. i think i like that sillouette. flare or not to flare? i don't know!

"now, what do i do with my hair? i can't wear it smooth and pretty with this shirt.

"hmmm, i would like a belt that's black and big and has an alligator's head on it. do you have anything like that?"

i'm full

flew in thursday night and downed two bloodys with scarny. worked on a crossword puzzle. (tapin? tapig? tapir?)

s.m. picked me up and we high-tailed it to six feet under for their late-night menu. split a catfish po'boy and washed it down with chardonnay.

the next morning, i hung out in lil' five and fed gourmet trail mix to homeless men. spent $60 on ridiculous beauty supplies at target. enjoyed walking in the heat and near living, breathing foliage.

showered. napped. hung out with scarny.

amber bear and kb showed up and the four of us hit royal orchid for spicy thai and eventually made our way to the local for one gigantic reunion. the after-party was at ice's. crashed at s.m.'s.

the brunch club-nyc/atl/ath meeting was at carroll street and the bloodys were superb. had a frittata and potatoes with mustard that burned my nostrils.

hit the mall. napped. showered. got ready for the event.

the ceremony was beautiful. (i still can't get over laura's dress and just how gorgeous it was.) dj grinned the entire time, understandably. everyone cleans up well; i have good lookin' friends. hit up the reception. hugged z for the first time in over a year. ate dinner with drew, z, caro, s.m., amber bear, scarny, kb, griggs, and dana. danced, drank, enjoyed myself. spilled wine on my dress and didn't care. ended up at a pool party and promptly passed out on the concrete.

congrats to that amazing couple!

the next morning was spent eating a chimichanga the size of my forearm. after recovering from the food coma, drove out to covington for a baby shower with a makeshift appetizer of brie covered in fig preserves in hand. noshed on coffee krispies, raw broccoli, couscous. amy was glowing; lil' oliver is almost here.

many congratulations to both of his incredible parents!

decided that i hadn't yet eaten enough and so hit up madras for some indian cuisine, but after four bites, decided against it. got back to s.m.'s, packed, slept, hopped on a flight this morning, went to work, felt horrible, went home.

(thank god i don't eat like this all the time and thank GOD i walk four miles a day.)

so, here it is: starting to seriously consider moving back to atlanta in six months. want to live alone and couldn't do it in nyc. need trees. want a car. need porches. want southern hospitality.

we'll see.

kiawah grille

last night, my bro and i designed our menus for this trip to kiawah. we even put together an actual menu using microsoft word's template.

night one:
bruschetta appetizer with cannellini and walnuts

seafood risotto with clams, calamari, and shrimp
broccoli rabe with red pepper

chocolate biscotti with fresh strawberry granita

night two:
tortilla chips with fresh mango salsa

grilled catfish tacos with plum tomatoes and avocado
baby greens salad with cilantro vinaigrette

flourless orange chocolate cake with fresh vanilla whipped cream

so, i've never made biscotti, a granita, or a flourless cake (with 18 ounces of good bittersweet chocolate!) before, and thus, i'm both excited and nervous.

i have also decided to make a batch of gold rush brownies; my grandma chica used to make them for every family get-together. the only ingredients are semi-sweet chocolate chips, chopped walnuts, graham cracker crumbs, and sweetened condensed milk.

can't wait.

shalom in the home

brunch club-nyc meeting #3 was at essex and ohhh, what a good choice! i had the fresh spinach, tomato, sheep's milk cheese, and chive omelette with mixed greens and scarny (my b.c.-nyc p.i.c.) had a potato pancake with house-cured salmon gravlax, poached eggs, and salmon caviar. tres bourgeois! love it! we also had three bloodys a piece, all included in the price of the meal. we'll definitely return.

after the meeting, we attended movie club and saw this. quite good. recommended. thoroughly depressing.

brunch club-nyc goes on the road on thursday, folks, as we'll be traveling to atl for THE wedding of the season (...well, one of several). picked up two different dresses for the occasion, but will be returning one. decisions, decisions.

we'll be imbibing with some bloodys on the plane, even though we fly in at 10:15 pm.

what else?

my brother finally used the i.c.e. gift certificate that i gave him for his birthday over six months ago and drank plenty of wine and cut up a rabbit. he's inspired! we've decided that for our trip to kiawah in july, he's taking charge of two dinners and i'm taking charge of two desserts. (he's the chef de cuisine and i'm the pastry chef, i suppose?) i'm slightly obsessed with bundt cakes right now (especially rum cakes and ESPECIALLY this) and so perhaps i'll do that one night, and grilled angel food cake and pineapple and strawberries with vanilla whipped cream the next? or do i want to do a chocolate layer cake with peanut butter mousse frosting? or a basic cherry crisp? or should i go all middle-america and make this?

what else?

my supervisor asked me today if i was dating anyone and i laughed.

nola weekend, pps.

for those of you (handels!) who have inquired, or who have some time and are able to make it down to new orleans, volunteers are still desperately needed.

check out this site for more info.

housing and food are provided for the length of your stay.

nola weekend, ps.

if only i had done some wikipedia-ing before my trip!

A bronze statue of Ignatius J. Reilly can be found under the clock at the Chateau Sonesta Hotel in the 800 block of Canal Street, New Orleans, the former site of the D.H. Holmes Department Store. The statue mimics the opening scene: Ignatius waits for his mother under the D.H. Holmes clock, clutching a Werlein's shopping bag, dressed in a hunting cap, flannel shirt, baggy pants and scarf, 'studying the crowd of people for signs of bad taste.'

in my down-time, i could have made a pilgrimage.

nola weekend

exhausted.

day one: awoke at 5:00 am, decided to pack camera, took train and bus to airport, barely caught flight, flew in at 11:00 am, took cab from airport, drove past superdome, spied workers on the roof, listened to hurricane statistics rattled off by driver, arrived at one of the city's oldest african-american churches in central city where i'd be staying, dropped off gear, ate pb&j on white bread, met becca & alyssa, drove to the elementary school, donned safety gear (suits, goggles, respirators), SWEAT, gutted school, SWEAT, gutted school, SWEAT, met tiffany, returned to church, showered, took cab to quarter, ate catfish, drank beer, ate beignets, took cab home, fell asleep in bunk, was awoken at 2:30 by bunkmate snoring, slept more.

day two: awoke at 6:00 am to steely dan, ate golden grahams without milk, explored the garden district, took pictures, drank sweet tea, attended two hour-long church service, sang "amazing grace", shook hands, held hands, cried, ate pb&j on a bagel, planted sunflowers, painted signs, napped, read "a confederacy of dunces", ate spaghetti and ice cream, attended community meeting, signed up for kitchen duty, spent two and a half hours helping to scrub industrial-sized pots, played a brief game of scrabble, chatted with ladies, fell asleep in bunk.

day three: awoke at 6:00 am to bob marley, ate golden grahams without milk, said goodbye to alyssa, shared cab with becca to airport, bought treats to bring home (coffee with chicory, a single praline for my bro, hurricane mix for the top tier, creole seasoning), boarded the plane, read "a confederacy of dunces", ate carrots, drank coffee, listened to kcrw's "good food" podcast, touched down in newark, said goodbye to becca, hopped bus to manhattan, got off on 42nd and lex, walked south, bought broccoli and tempeh, arrived home, made dinner, uploaded pictures.

exhausted.

save americorps*nccc

i'm breaking out the hippie attire, folks, and hopping on a plane to new orleans this weekend. i'm bringing a backpack, a pair of jeans, a bandana (for christ's sake! a bandana!), steel-toed work books, and some respirator masks.

not my camera and not my hardened liver.

from the time i get off the plane and hop a cab to our volunteer headquarters, until the time i hop a cab from the headquarters to the airport, i'll be doing god-knows-what: some demolition work, some mold removal, some cooking for displaced community members, some community outreach work. or not. who knows? i'm showing up and doing whatever they want me to do. i've got a bunk with my name on it and i'm there until monday night.

i've been given this opportunity because i am an americorps alum (liberty hill, texas 1999-2000). bush has proposed cuts to americorps funding in his fiscal year 2007 budget -- including dismantling the americorps national civilian conservation program (nccc). alums are heading to the gulf coast beginning this weekend for a month of service. goals of our presence are as follows:

1. Showcase the necessity of AmeriCorps*NCCC and AmeriCorps to the media and to legislators.
2. Showcase the power of AmeriCorps Alums and the lifetime commitment they make as a lifetime return on investment in AmeriCorps.
3. Provide opportunity for AmeriCorps Alums to lend a hand in the Gulf and play an important role in the rebuilding of our country.
4. Provide support and fresh inspiration for the AmeriCorps and AmeriCorps*NCCC members who are serving in the Gulf.
5. Support the two Hands On Network Gulf sites in their efforts to rebuild Biloxi, MS and New Orleans, LA, and the St. Louis Safety Service Corps’ work in rebuilding Pass Christian, MS.

i'm looking forward to a good weekend.

chocolate halo

this cake was damn good.

it was a standard angel food cake recipe, but i added coffee and cocoa to the batter and then frosted it with a blend of chocolate pudding and whipped cream.

pictures came out a'ight, too.

phish food.

does anyone have any thoughts on burlington, vermont? been there? enjoyed it?

on a budget.

so, it's not haute cuisine, but...

one box of carrot cake mix
+
one can of diet sprite
+
one quarter cup of raisins
+
15-20 minutes at 350 degrees in a muffin tin
=
delish.

ginger weekend.

friday night was spent at mama's, the delancey, and crudo with two cnn employees and many vodka sodas.

saturday morn: BRUNCH CLUB! who knew you had to have a reservation at essex? who knew that a place that usually has a line snaking around the block even took reservations? not i. we hoofed it to the sunburnt cow and began to form the rules for brunch club:

1) one must wear loose-fitting clothing
2) one must sit outside (if possible)
3) one must, after attending a brunch club meeting, attend a nap club meeting
4) if you haven't spent $30, you're doing something wrong

i had a salmon and avocado eggs benedict and many bloody marys. scarny's benedict came with crab cakes. v+ had the steak sandwich.

saturday night was spent celebrating an engagement with a variety of former and current georgians, a too-sweet $10 ginger cocktail, and many glasses of wine at happy ending.

today? whole wheat ess-a-bagel with sun-dried tomato tofu, a diet cherry coke, and doin' laundry. (oh, should i just drop it off? or should i spend the day in the laundromat? decisions, decisions...)

between all that and brainstorming ideas for the brunch club logo, i'm exhausted.

ps- is it just me, or does eleanor clift have a voice like fingernails on a chalkboard? i mean, really, eleanor. shut up.

make it to the border of mexico...

will be having a drink or two with ms. dykes and mr. scarborough this saturday. scarny will join me. it'll be my first trip to happy ending and i'm looking forward to it.

sixteen days until i leave for new orleans.

brunch club meeting #2: this weekend!

just purchased a ticket to atlanta for june.

my brother and i baked beer bread last night, watched the "top chef" reunion, and got shit-faced on bad wine. beer bread has got to be the most dangerously easy thing to make EVER. here is the recipe, my gentle reader(s):

3 c. flour (i use 1/2 whole wheat pastry flour and 1/2 unbleached white flour, but do as you wish)
1/3 c. sugar (i use organic brown sugar, but do as you wish)
1 T. baking powder
1 1/2 t. salt
1 12 oz. bottle o' beer (i've used newcastle and dos equis, but do as you wish)
other stuff... nuts, oats, dried fruit, if you wish (i've used dried cranberries and dried bing cherries)

mix it up. pour in loaf pan. put in cold oven. turn to 375. bake for 60 minutes.

(about 15 minutes before finished, i brush top with a bit of soy margarine, but this is optional.)

especially good hot out of the oven, drizzled with honey. OMG, SO GOOD.

also, kate moss and my bro were attempting to convince me last night to put together some sort of portfolio of my pictures, which i find laughable. my brother is dj'ing at a bar next week and would like me to hang some of my stuff. hiLARious. (i'm curious, though, gentle reader(s), if you had to choose one picture you like, what would it be? if you think they are all shit, i don't blame you.)

email me.

update: thank you to all who voted, but sadly, polls are closed until i start shooting in high-res. see? totally not a real photographer. at all.

two prunes and hobbesian philosophy.

friday night was spent avoiding mexican food: we ate indian cuisine and drank ourselves silly at an irish pub. we played a raucous game of 'telephone' in which, inevitably, the words "auspicious" and "fuck" made their way into the final phrase.

saturday began with a visit to the first prune. scarny and i tried their famous bloody marys -- his had beef bouillion and mine, a pickled brussels sprout. i had buttered breadcrumb-encrusted eggs over spicy chickpeas and garnished with olive paste. it was a pricey meal. we then ate gingerbread and relaxed in union square park. soon enough, a.w. showed up and we headed uptown to check out the second prune of the day.

after a trip to the coke den that is scarny's temporary residence, we headed out to red hook and had a most unfortunate meal. fries were beyond crispy, hamburger was half gristle. the only thing that saved the evening was an impromptu party back at the pad, the highlight of which was when a dude named porkchop showed up at 5:30 in the morning with a six-pack of sparks. this morning's recovery brunch was spent at curly's. i had the vegan tofu rancheros, a coffee, and sangria.

AMAZING WEEKEND.

hysteria.

last night i saw two sets of breasts.

went to an off-off-off broadway performance of some dramatic shorts, one of which was directed by an ex-athenian and her boyfriend. had a great time; it was invigorating to mix up my routine a bit.

some pig.

please, someone tell me all you know about this:

calculating opportunity cost.

according to barry schwartz of swarthmore college, the more choice one has in one's life, the less happy one will be when finally making a decision:

As Americans, we assume that more choice means better options and greater satisfaction. But beware of excessive choice: choice overload can make you question the decisions you make before you even make them, it can set you up for unrealistically high expectations, and it can make you blame yourself for any and all failures. In the long run, this can lead to decision-making paralysis. And in a culture that tells us that there is no excuse for falling short of perfection when your options are limitless, too much choice can lead to clinical depression.

i don't necessarily think this is nonsense: for instance, my coworker enjoys casually dating -- when she finally does choose someone with whom to share a committed relationship, she feels antsy to break up, ostensibly because she feels she's missing out on something else.

this "paradox of choice" is further explored in the new yorker:

It helps explain why so many people at age thirty are still flailing about, trying to choose a career—and why so many marriageable singles wind up alone. You await a spouse who combines the kindness of your mom, the wit of the smartest person you met in grad school, and the looks of someone you dated in 1983 (as she was in 1983) . . . and you wind up spending middle age by yourself, watching the Sports Channel at 2 a.m. in a studio apartment strewn with pizza boxes.

see more here.

do it! with reckless abandon

check out my flickr site for pictures from this weekend...

what i ate
salmon tacos at nuevo laredo
bagel with lox and cream cheese, capers, and tomatoes at carroll street cafe
tofu baja burrito with chips and cheese dip at taco stand
tofu and veggie platter at the grit
catfish tacos at six feet under
freshly baked peanut butter cup cookies with vanilla soy ice cream at s.m.'s
(and okay, OKAY, so yeah, i also did a round at the olive garden in gwinnett county.)

what i drank
pinot grigio at s.m.'s
margaritas on the rocks at nuevo laredo
bloody mary at carroll street cafe
stoli orange and soda at the nowhere bar
many many many beers at a myriad of places
lemon drop shot at the 40 watt
mimosa at the grit (my first grit mimosa ever, in fact)

time to detox, my friends.

THANK YOU, EVERYONE, FOR A WONDERFUL WEEKEND. (it was definitely all-caps-worthy.)

i was especially happy to see a number of those individuals whose blogs are on my list of very important persons.

so, yeah -- see you again in june.

southern-bound.

and so on friday, i begin a number of months during which i will take several flights:

on this last friday of april, i will fly to atlanta and attempt to not drink myself dead. fingers crossed! in new york, i hardly drink as hard or as often as i do when i'm in georgia; there is something about that state that turns me into a lush.

on a saturday at the end of may, i will fly to new orleans and spend the weekend helping to demolish mold-ridden remnants of the ninth ward. i will sleep in bunk beds with strangers and eat the food they hand me.

on a friday in the middle of june, i will fly back to georgia to celebrate the marriage of two friends.

on a saturday in july, i will fly to south carolina for the first vacation i've had with my father in 13 years. i will ride a bike across kiawah island and prepare my family avocado and citrus salad, grilled jerk-spiced portobello mushrooms over cumin rice, green apple salsa, and coconut milk bread pudding.

on the other weekends? i will sip bloody marys with scarnsworth and kate moss and we will sun ourselves at beaches in queens.

salsa that ends your search.

where i will be in seven days!

as long as she ate the mouse, she can't see nor hear.

this one's for s.m.!

it's the most delectable dessert -- vegan treats' chocolate peanut butter mousse bomb cake. found at curly's and atlas and teany. i'm bringing s.m. a piece when i fly in next friday but i can't wait that long, myself: i'm hitting up curly's tonight!

yummers.

in other food-related news, scarny and i had a farewell (until i see him next weekend) at bao noodles last night. i had the curry tofu and he had the pho; we started it off with vegetable spring rolls. quite good. ended the night with a hofbrau lager at rolf's -- known for its exquisite (and a bit over-the-top) decor around the holidays.

stuck!

i was just telling scarny the other day that he should take a trip over to roosevelt island via the tram. it offers some of the most beautiful views of the city and for only $2 on one's metrocard.

well, take the train, scarny.

chicks and bunnies.

calorically-dense carnival foods -- unmasked!

after my last post, i thought i'd post a few more tasty tidbits about the foods found at the fair:

5 oz. fried snickers bar: 445 calories
5 1/2 oz bag o' cotton candy: 625 calories
4.5 oz. soft pretzel (sans mustard): 340 calories
average plain funnel cake: 760 calories
20 fl. oz. orange julius: 490 calories
nachos (40 chips with 4 oz. cheese) 1100 calories
8" churro: 325 calories
13 oz. chili cheese fries: 745 calories
18 oz. pork ribs: 1360 calories
10 oz. kettle corn: 1200 calories
8 oz. peanuts in shell: 930 calories
16 oz. dippin' dots ice cream: 600 calories

oh, i'm so evil.

chop-lickin' yumminess.

because this page does part-time as a food blog (when not being a dating diary or a knit-along, or a travel journal), i must bring to your attention the BEST easter candy known to humankind:

the cadbury mini-egg.



as paddy o'poppycock wrote somewhere on the interweb:

"I don't remember exactly where I was the first time I had Cadbury Mini Eggs, but I remember the sensation I felt the moment I bit through the candy shell. It was as if I'd tasted chocolate for the first time, that all previous chocolate was just preparing me for these mini-eggs. I wouldn't realize just how great these oval nuggets of nirvana really were until years later when I first partook in lovemaking. Or as I called it at the time, "The physical act of two people nearly replicating the pleasure of eating a Cadbury Mini Egg."

sadly, i have yet to find them in the city.

spicy sweet succulent

made some cinnamon-oatmeal-orange-cranberry cookies last night, and made 'em vegan just because. my coworker (THE coworker, of times past) asked me if eating them magically made him a vegan and, of course, i told him he better know where to pick up some birkenstocks in nyc, hippie.

he then told me that he "passed gas and it smelled like... love."

work is odd.

quite excited about my trip to atl/ath at the end of the month. so excited, in fact, that i bought a kelly green cotton eyelet strapless sundress at h&m yesterday just because. i probably won't even bring the damn thing, but it felt like georgia to me and so i just had to have it.

oh, and i treated myself to some vietnamese cuisine with a trip to bao noodles last night (scarny! bao noodles!) and had some rice vermicelli with spring rolls, cucumbers, bean sprouts, cilantro and sweet soy sauce. washed it down with a glass of pinot grigio and read the article on muzak in this week's "new yorker".

what else is important to me at this time?

running three miles three times per week, visiting my mom, roasting vegetables, smiling more, laughing more, being more pleasant au generale, walking two miles to and from work every day, watching movies in bed, listening to kcrw's "good food" on my ipod, reading "the year of magical thinking" by joan didion.



spring has sprung, despite the snow.

commencement.

sadly, the agent and i have parted ways. don't wish to say much more than that.

in happier news, i have decided to grace the lovely peach state with my presence between the dates of april 28 and may 1. oh! to return to the land of taco stand!

this weekend was beautiful and glorious: ran three miles on saturday, got a sassy new haircut (i'm rocking long bangs now, folks), did some shopping at the greenmarket (purple carrots! blue peruvian potatoes! garlic chives!), watched "the future of food" on dvd, drank orange-infused vodka at mama's, ate yummy sushi with kate moss and her sister, had brunch with my brother (though, sadly, the bloody marys were sub-par), walked-walked-walked all over the city and enjoyed the sunshine! i had forgotten how much i love sitting on the east river promenade with a whole wheat bagel and a cup of coffee and the times. even got a bit of a burn on the right side of my neck. my skin hasn't seen real sun in some time.

in the happiest news of all, scarny is about to become a full-fledged resident of our lovely city. can. not. wait.

'tis all.

nature's candy!

folks, my vote for best new fruit would be the kumquat. now, it's not new to the plant kingdom, but rather new to my palate -- or i should say, new-ish. my grandparents had a kumquat tree in their backyard in monrovia, california and as a wee lass i would gather up the kumquats and pop 'em into my mouth. i hadn't had one in about 25 years until last night (and they're already out of season, sadly).

kumquats are a citrus fruit and have a tart, slightly-sour flesh but a sweet skin -- and you eat 'em whole, like a grape. you chew-chew-chew and they become sweeter as you do. they're delicious. they've got about 12-16 calories per fruit, for those of you who are watching your waistline.

hurrah! kumquats!

more on that-which-is-currently-blowing-my-mind here.

the eternal battle.

one of the most moving documentaries i've seen in quite some time is being released on friday -- and i highly recommend you see it when it comes 'round.

(thanks to a.w. for getting me in for free tonight.)

it's touching and tragic and inspiring and worthy of the accolades already being bestowed upon it. so go see it.

in other news...

remember this pic? an old friend may use it in his band's album artwork. it's still up in the air, but i was flattered that he asked.

contemplating part-time culinary school. one wednesday and one saturday per week for 10 months. $17 grand. worth it? you tell me.

despite my contemplating a career change, i'm enjoying my job again (amazing what an extra 15% will do for one's spirit).

walking to work more -- training to run a 5k in june may.

oh, and i went to trader joe's tonight and bought pitas, hummous, veggie chik nuggets, bananas, apples, beans, chili, soup, two boxes of cereal, a bag of baby spinach, diet root beer, soy cheese... and spent THIRTY DOLLARS. i felt like i had stolen the food. unbelievable.

almighty dollar.

i got a raise today. a fifteen percent raise. snaps for me.

perhaps now i can actually afford to live in new york. god only knows how i've been doing it up to this point.

that's all.

fuck, this blog is boring.

cute as all get out.

i wanna put it it my mouth and swallow it and keep it in my belly!

(thanks, cute overload, for bringing a smile to my face on a regular basis.)

huff and puff.

folks, i'm really cutting back on the smoking.

i ran this morning and after not having a cigarette in a few days, it felt great. the true test will be when i drink, though i've been pretty good at limiting my cigarettes to one a night, even while plastered.

(see my new quitmeter at the bottom of this page.)

i remember when i smoked a pack of marlboro menthols a day -- back in the summer of '95 -- because they were refreshing.

(oh, and if you're bored -- check out my updated daily reads to your right.)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i have really felt off my rocker lately. totally unbalanced.

i will perhaps win money at the craps table on friday, though i've never played craps in my life. or should i choose roulette? how do you play craps?

the agent better not be playing skee-ball tonight without me.

kate moss is a world traveler and invited to every wedding under the sun.

scarny and i sat across from each other tonight at dinner and he chowed down on a rice and pea pinata. delish, it looked. oh, and hummus is yummier than babaganoush.

i cannot get enough of "frontline" online.

work has tested my patience, but i convinced someone to stop smoking today and, lo and behold, i enjoyed it.

my mom is still hobbling around on one foot.

my brother was hit by a cab today and didn’t miss a beat – kept on running.

i need to do laundry. i need to go running.

my father gave me a $100 starbucks gift card for my birthday and i’m pretty sure i can burn through the rest of it in about five days. my blood is thick with coffee.

i bought another hair dryer because i’m tired of schlepping the only one i have back and forth to the agent’s place. it’s reminiscent of those times when i was 11 and inevitably the scrunchie i wanted was at the opposite parent’s house: must have two of everything.

a few weekends ago, i gazed at munch's "vampire" at the moma for what seemed like hours.

i need a pedicure. i need spring to arrive. i need patience.

i need a trip on the cyclone and i need to show the agent that roller coasters aren’t something to fear – except the cyclone, that is. that shit is scary.

me me me

my 29th year began this morning with a delicious breakfast in bed: pancakes with rum-soaked cherries and coffee, whipped up by the agent.

nothing better.

jolly good.

on the way to work, i decided to pick up some weetabix.

delish!

try pouring vanilla soy milk over two biscuits and sticking the bowl in the microwave for 30 minutes seconds (thanks, kb). the biscuits break down and turn into a porridge-like consistency.

(i feel so british.)

tonight, the agent and i are going to a screening of a film about ultimate fighting, where they will serve mountain dew cocktails.

(i feel so white trash.)

a relationship, i think, is like a shark.

the agent and i had a very alvy and annie moment last night while dealing with a small kitchen fire:

"um, what do i do?!"

"um, i don't know! do you have a... um...!"

"um, oh my god!"

"um, wait, do you have one of those, um..."

(jen! it's called a fucking fire extinguisher!)

the agent then blows on the fire (occurring in the toaster oven, i should add), presumably to put it out, and this just fans the flames even more...

i dump out my wine (horrors!) into the sink and start to fill up my glass with water, presumably to dump on the electrical appliance in order to put it out...

but then at the last minute we actually make an intelligent decision and decide to unplug the damn thing and close the door.

the fire's out.

the apartment filled with smoke and we were left fanning the place out for the next half hour, in between fits of laughter.

needless to say, that toaster oven is toast.

brrrr rabbit.

a ton of snow was dumped upon our fair city saturday night.

i was being a baby and didn't feel like trekking out into it, but the agent (and some wine) changed my mind. after seeing "match point" and chowing down on some sushi, we hit the merc for the comas show. (i think i just about fell asleep standing up at said show, but that's not a dig on the band.) took a cab back to the 'burg and then continued our streak at enid's for brunch (complete with bloody marys) the next morning.

spent the rest of the snowed-in sunday playing cards and watching tv and what not.

had yummy pad thai for dinner and the agent finally tried the fruity fried rice with chicken.

(the more time i spend with the agent, and the happier i am, the more this blog will suck. i didn't realize it could suck any harder than it had already sucked, but i think i found out a way to make it suck the hardest: start seeing someone.)

here's a silly story that i just shared with both kate moss and the agent via email:

i returned from the agent's this morning to get ready for work. the top lock was bolted on my apartment door and i don't have a key. i banged on the door to try to wake my roommate up but then this big, chubby, bald dude with a moon face (and i say that in the nicest way) answered the door with a comforter around his (obviously naked) body. he looked at me as if to say, "um, who are you?" and i was like, "um, i *live* here." apparently the roommate had already left for work and moon-face thought i was the roommate, coming back to retrieve something.

it was a bit uncomfortable, to say the least.

away! away! for i will fly to thee

i've almost killed my second venti coffee of the day, folks. that's 40 ounces. 5 cups. i can't sit still.

the agent and i have started a book club, of which we are the only members. our first book shall be f. scott fitzgerald's "tender is the night". has anyone read it? i was thinking "the beautiful and damned" should be first, but the agent's suave persuasion won me over.

smokestack lightning.

post-hip hop dance class, i'm thinking cardio-striptease.

i'm-a work that pole, bitches.

oh, and when i scrap the real career and start earning my rent in the dirty thirties as a dancer, "fire woman" by the cult will be my signature song. (of course, i'll need to learn to breathe fire for full effect, but don't worry. i'm on it.)

i am the new black.

the agent and i are so far outside the friend zone, it's almost laughable. still, we can't date. wouldn't work. would end in a bloodbath. we both know it.

how the fuck did this happen?

the thought of dating absolutely petrifies me. kate moss thinks this might work if neither of us label what we do or what this is. ever. EVER.

(by the way, agent, i know you're reading this. how was the date with kristina with a 'k'?)

getting famouser all the time.

look who linked to me.

i won't fuck us over / i'm mr. november.

if you do not have this record, you must. i can't stop listening to it.

update: the band, interviewed, by p'fork and published on monday.

benefits package.

yikes! the agent and i crossed the line out of the friend zone!

a look over the shoulder.

my worst fear.

Half submerged in New York's collective unconscious, alongside dirty bombs and dark-alley robberies, is the nightmare of somehow winding up in the path of an oncoming train.

i can't help but feel that this somehow makes me more of a "new yorker."

(though it probably does not, as i've only been here for 13 months.)

what did make me feel like a real new yorker was taking in an event at the 92nd street y last night: pete hamill and tom wolfe (the respective voices of new york's working class and bourgeoisie) having a conversation for those of us who paid $25 a head.

(ed koch was a few rows in front of me. that, in and of itself, made me feel like i had finally made it to new york.)

i told the agent that i was a real jew now: i'd made it to the y on the upper east side! he said i was still a shiksa. then he started getting all yiddish on me, saying something about shmaltz and being his bubee.

law & order: special valentine's unit

i need these.

so, it may not be poppin' and lockin'...

...but it's a hip-hop-esque/funk dance class nonetheless. think less this and more this.

anyhow, today i can barely move.

started my 8-week class yesterday and child, let me tell you: inTENSE. so much fun, though. i can't wait to show off my finished routine to anyone who will watch.

this weekend was nice. went to the show with the agent on friday night, but really only watched annie hayden -- we then proceded to get drunk-as-fuck on cheap-as-fuck beers at the greenpoint tavern on bedford in the 'burg. 32 ounces of budweiser for $3.50 $3.00? i mean, it's criminally cheap.

i think it's where i may go after my "i'm turning 30 in a year!" birthday dinner. speaking of which, check out the sweetest yes-rsvps to my evite thus far. (yes, people plan this far in advance in this city.)

roommate one: i'll bring a "60 and over the hill" balloon to help ease the pain even more.
coworker one: i'm always down for drinks during the week...and celebrating birthdays
the agent: don't worry - you don't look a day over 29 ...
roommate two: lol. i was all confused about your age. i like your trauma-reduction plan...
cutie coworker: yes. yes indeed.
my boss: awh, my favorite little planner-aheader... i wouldn't miss it.
coworker two: i'll be there as soon as i get out of class!
my bro: i'm there yo
kate moss: yes, but if i get a hot date with one of the wilson brothers, i'm out!

still waiting for six more replies.

so, anyhow, we hung with the guitarist from denali at the tavern and whoo-hoo-hoo is he a cutie. and super nice. and tall. and cute.

after the bar i (stumbled toward and) stayed at the agent's apartment. the next morning we dragged our hungover asses to enid's for brunch, where, because i know a waiter, we procured free bloody marys. thank GOD. we then returned to the agent's place and i forced him to watch three hours of "projrun." now that's what i call friendship.

sunday was the aforementioned dance class... and 5, 6, 7, 8...

good weekend!

cheers, revisited.

why warren st. john was at rififi on thursday.

lamester.

kate moss wants to start an online community called "lamester," in which you can place the top 8 people you think are lame on your homepage.

she proposed these groups for her top 8:

-People getting married.
-People in relation"shit"s.
-All exes.
-All people who have had any relation"shit" with exes.
-Anyone who has ever called us a bitch.
-Anyone who looks better in our clothes than we do.
-People who don't love Polly.
-People who don't want to be our friends.

ain't she adorable?

cheers!

last night, while attending "welcome to our week" at rififi, i spotted warren st. john saddling his way up to the bar. not one to be shy, i decided to say hello.

i touched his arm gently and asked, "warren st. john?" lest he be a look-alike. nope, it was him. he smiled broadly and said, "yes!" and then words just tumbled out of my mouth.

"i loved 'rammer jammer yellow hammer," i said. he replied, so modestly, "get OUT!" and chuckled a bit.

"no," i said, "it was great -- i went to the university of georgia and i'm a football fan and..."

"oh, my mom's from savannah!"

"really? well, just wanted to say i really enjoyed it. that's all."

"thanks!"

i then slithered back to my table. a few seconds later he walked by, raised his drink to me and said, "cheers!"

oh, and the comedy show was good, too.

it's a muthafuckin' walk off.

so many gorgeous shots (action and still) of the city in tonight's episode of projrun. loved the idea of the challenge: take pictures of new york, choose one that inspires you, and design a garment around it.

i have spent many a day in the past year walking around the city for hours taking pictures of graffiti, signs, buildings, people -- now, if only i could parlay some of that creative energy into pattern-making!

santino looks so much like the villain from superman 2. or was it superman the movie? either way, not an original thought. i think i read that first on fourfour.

or maybe craftmuffin.

oh, god, is nick going to throw the competition? or will zu-zu go home tonight? that bitch stole nick's gorgeous model!

an elongated marshmallow! tim gunn! so rude.

(i'm starting to realize that i'm live-blogging this episode.)

give her hell, nick. even with the model with the gumby legs who can't walk worth a shit. send zu-zu home. look at her: shiesty. you are shiesty, zu-zu.

"it's nothing personal, it's just business." zu-zu! wrong show.

santino's impression of tim is dead-on. andrae is simply delectable and adorable in this ep -- and i loved his dirty water inspiration.

ooh, god -- kara. badbadbadbadbad. stop and rethink that garment.

kate moss and i have a super-crush on daniel and his garment looks delicious thus far. he's too cute.

nick: "for a moment i wanted to cut her. you wanna fuck me? well, you can't." HOTT. oh, zu-zu's going home tonight, 'cause they've got her talking about what she'll do with the money when she wins. too bad, missy. take yr shiesty ass home. even your gorgeous stolen model doesn't like your dress.

oh, but then i saw kara's dress again and *egad*, it's bad. what will the twist be? who will be out?!

(predication: daniel will win this challenge.)

ooh, looky look: jay from projrun-one is back to be a catty bitch to the contestants.

i really love andrae's dress.
i really hate kara's dress. i mean, no creativity whatsoever.
i think santino's piece is beautiful.
lovelovelove daniel. that blouse is fantastic.
chloe's dress? snooze.
not nick's best work. i feel like he didn't try.
zu-zu has a great model, but the dress? not so much.

who do i think ruled the runway? daniel. or andrae. zu-zu's out. no, wait, kara. no, zu-zu. no, for real: kara.

kara's sweating bullets.

michael kors says it's "literal." i agree.

oh no! austin scarlett grammy dress! he's right! i feel an itsy-bitsy bit sad for santino. i loved his inspiration.

so, kara out. daniel wins. or andrae. let's see how smart i is:

the winner is... DANIEL. i have a genius eye.
who's out? ZUUUUUUUUUUU-ZUUUUUUUUUUUU! well, hmph. interesting.

now maybe nick can snag his model back.

god, i'm exhausted.

tra la la.

last night at craft night, i got into the stupidest fight ever with kate moss. it was all resolved after an hour or so, and i suppose we were due for a fight, but i instigated it and this leads me to believe that i just feel like fighting as of late. when one doesn't have a significant other with whom to fight, it's gotta come out somewhere, right?

i'm becoming dependent upon my bff-ship with the agent already. we're emailing lots and (sigh), if only there was a spark or something. i mean, i already tried that and i'm not going to attempt to convince myself that i want to be with him, but i guess (sigh), it just feels really good to have a guy friend again. what, with after the drama with the coworker.

that drama is ka-put, btw. i haven't even seen him today. i think we're having lunch on friday, but who knows? it may not even happen. i'm so whatevs about the sitch.

ummmm, what else? oh, this is lame: i've taken initiative at work and am conducting a "lunch & learn" on january 31. i'm educating fellow coworkers on healthy snack options! i believe it was partially advertised as, "do you have a regular afternoon date with the vending machine? always tired and hungry around 3:00 pm? learn about healthy snack options from our resident health educator!"

good god. can you believe this shit?

19-naughty-4

the agent and i are friends! just friends! we bro'd out last night, had a good time, and both realized that we could be buddies. i'm loving this idea. plus, he's an agent and has many a plus-one to shows in this city and i'm taking advantage of one next weekend.

(funny story about that band that involves an evening three summers ago, lots of alcohol, some weird flirtation, some jealousy, and a touch of drama. boy, do i miss those days.)

a real, live male friend in new york! it's great.

yay.

random thoughts from the basement of my brain.

i'm having dinner with the agent. remember him? thanksgiving? i'm not sure why i'm doing this. i sought it out. i want to see how he's doing -- it's been a month or so since we split. i'm also a little bored. i do hope that we can be friends. we'll see how things go over some thai food in the 'burg tonight.

found out that i'll be going to the plug awards (for free, even) this year. i'm excited about seeing the national, as i've been listening to quite a bit of "secret meeting".

caught up with both kb and sm this weekend, though sm needs a new cell phone battery. i don't remember the last time we ended a call with "bye".

everyone is engaged.

running along the east river on a beautifully sunny winter day whilst listening to "you are a runner and i am my father's son" by wolf parade has to be just about the best way to spend a morning. oh, that, and then hitting up ess-a-bagel for an order of sun-dried tomato tofu on whole wheat.

it struck me while running that i don't want to live anywhere else.

finally.

photo: the national and cyhsy celebrate after playing soccer. too cute. here's the source.

clap your hands say sold out

...in 45 minutes.

(but we got tickets!)

oh my rockness!

fingers crossed i get my clap your hands say yeah ticket today for the april show. the ex was making fun of me yesterday for liking them. tres jaloux!

(all of a sudden, i give a shit about music again. who knew it was possible?)

other bands of interest...
tapes 'n tapes
art brut
we are scientists
lolita bras
my best fiend
wolf parade

what are you listening to?

(and by "you" i mean the four people who read this blog occasionally.)

my own worst enemy.

do you care about the golden globes? i think i might but i'm not sure. i think i might say that i care so that i can feel guilt-free about drinking a bottle of pinot as dinner rather than eating the whole wheat pasta i have collecting dust in my cupboard. pinot seems celebratory. the 'globes are celebratory. hmmmm.

ah, if you do not do so already: listen to "is this love" by cyhsy at least five times in a row every day. every day!

i am in the market for designer denim. tag jeans or true religion? you make the call! weight is melting off of me and i must reward myself. one would think it's may 2002 again, except without that unfortunate addiction to cough syrup and pbs.

HOLLA.

if you wanna hang out, you've gotta take her out.

today, kate moss and i had ART DAY! went to ps1 at which i saw the most amazing video/kinetic sculpture installation by jon kessler. truly incredible. photographs by peter hujar and stephen shore also blew me away and reminded me that i need to go to b&h at some point to price cameras. post-ps1, we meandered to the 'burg to check out steve keene's gallery, and each picked up three new pieces. (sorry, kb, no tupac or bob marley paintings this time.) almost bought the cutie coworker a painting of rush, but decided against it. good decision, right? right! so, yes, now i own five pieces of sk's and these new ones, "l.a. freeway", "silver jews", and "cds", will go nicely next to the pieces, "challenge" and "you & me", given to me years ago by crogers.

tomorrow i will awaken early and run along the east river before work. i

apparently, my place of employment has never heard of a man named dr. king.

and, again: ten things i did today.

1. bought my ticket to georgia: 4/28 through 5/1, y'all.
2. accepted an offer to go to happy hour here with the cutie coworker.
3. wore a kimono top that i usually despise due to its unfortunate way of making me look pregnant.
4. listened to m.i.a. on the 40 minute walk to work.
5. heard myself tell a patient (with a body mass index of 35) that "everything we do in life either moves us closer to our goals or farther away." sometimes, i'm not sure where the hell i get this shit or if it's even true.
6. contemplated why i flirted hard-core with that ex yesterday.
7. did a little wikipedia-ing on chalabi.
8. considered being knocked up by vincent gallo. (i'd have a reason to wear this kimono top every day, i suppose.)
9. gazed at "i and the village" by marc chagall.
10. attempted to decide, for once and for all, as to whether i am rooting for team aniston or team jolie.

ten things i did today.

1. flirted hard-core with an ex.
2. signed up for a hip hop dance class series (8 weeks!) at broadway dance studio.
3. planned my itinerary for a trip to atl/ath in late april.
4. fit into my skinny cords.
5. ate a bowl of a brand of chili i once deemed too spicy.
6. made an appointment to get my hair did.
7. walked to chelsea (in heels!) to catch the train rather than being lazy and and taking the l to the f from gramercy.
8. confirmed that i will be helping to paint a mural at a high school in a week.
9. blew off my wishy-washy cutie coworker.
10. bought a ticket to see tom wolfe speak on the 31st.

my hobby.

i decided that '06 would be the year that i started taking photography somewhat seriously, and this is a good way to start it out.

now, if only i can get my mitts on something other than a point-and-shoot.

okay, i'm out.

so, i don't know what's happened, but within the last few months, this blog has turned into an embarrassing display of my dating debacles.

i went on yet another date tonight and it was just bad. worse than the belgian, worse than the second date with the agent, worse than anything that happened with jack falcon or juan carlos. worse than the tool from the 'post'. worse than the bore back in february '05, worse than the closeted gay boy in december '04. (i won't say worse than than the drama of summer '05, but, whatevs.) just achingly bad through and through. i couldn't get through my beer fast enough to get the hell out of the bar. he put me on the defensive from second one, drilling me about my profession and my political ideology and my intellect. all i wanted to do was get home to watch the rest of a documentary on the iraq war on pbs.org/frontline. (it's called "truth, war, and consequences" -- and it's highly recommended.)

so, um, yeah. i'm on hiatus (from dating, that is).

i'm fucking exhausted, y'all. i've dated more in the last two months than i have in my entire life and while at first it was fun, now it's just hellish.

(kb, it kills me to say this, but you were right.)

(ahem.)

next!

oh...

...and here's this nonsense:

http://www.nypost.com/dating/d2.htm

btw, those aren't my words.

i can breathe for the first time!

two average- and one mega-sized dirty vodka martinis in my belly. dancing (or, rather, hopping around maniacally) to "since u been gone" on the dance floor at bally's. meeting jeff & cheryl, probable swingers. losing ten bucks in 30 seconds at the nickel slots. walking on the beach at 1:00 am. telling some poor, unsuspecting soul that my name was sandra and i was there with my friend, cindy. black-eyed peas, collards, and cornbread the next morning. stressing about the lack of texts from my crush (who shall be known as juan carlos, though his actual name is not as exciting), but then receiving texts and wondering why i had stressed.

that was my new year's eve weekend, folks. atlantic city! caesar's palace! the trump taj mahal! (oh, i didn't go to that one! but, still!) i felt like a beauty queen.

anyhow, juan carlos and i are having dirty vodka martinis on wednesday because we realized we both think they're yummy. saturday, we're going to zabar's to get food and then hitting up "match point" because we're both woody allen fans. still swooning, but actually trying to play it somewhat cool. that can be hard for me when i like a boy.

heh.

swooooo...

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon.

i am in MAJOR like.

top twenty-five of 2005

(in no particular order, and i'm sure i will add more.)

touching bill clinton's hand at crobar in december
having my picture in a ridiculous article in the "new york post"
having a photograph i took submitted in the flickrati nyc book
staying in new york (even when it was hard)
getting a job in my field
meeting my co-workers, roommates, and other new york friends
eating ethiopian food on my 28th birthday (and singing "islands in the stream" with my brother)
riding the cyclone at coney island for the first time (and screaming my head off)
visiting rockaway beach for the first time
chocolate and wine on j.a.'s rooftop
trip to athens in may (for a myriad of reasons)
holiday party with mona mour in attendance (and smoking cigarettes with matt & theresa by the window)
tracy's vegan pecan pie at the thanksgiving potluck
drinking 40s at the halloween party with a bowling alley in the basement (and noella dancing in the lanes)
temping for (and meeting) spike lee
the many "law & order" tapings in front of my apartment (and not being able to text scarny fast enough)
dinner at union square cafe (even with a forkful of foie gras)
scarny's many visits (and our time at revival and zen palate, especially)
road trip upstate to ithaca/farm sanctuary (and wilco's "jesus, etc." playing)
being forced to walk everywhere thanks to "strike 2005!"
attending a taping of "the daily show"
attending a taping of "saturday night live" (with vip seats)
attending a taping of "late night with conan o'brien"
beck & belle and sebastian show in brooklyn
seeing jeff mangum twice (!)

hiLARious

check it. (oh, and vote!)

btw, what the fuck is this "sweet, tasty treat" thing? i mean, i know it's the post, but c'mon.

when it rains...

i have two dates within the next 36 hours. one will be a bit more, um, public than the other. let's just say all of new york will be able to learn about it if they so desire. (though i'm sure they don't.)

oh! the strike is off! no more walking home in arctic-like conditions. i'm a little sad, though: it was the only thing forcing me to get exercise.

more soon!

an utter waste of time.

1 MINUTE AGO: i was on myspace snagging this from matt cherry's blog.
1 HOUR AGO: i was in h&m buying an outfit for tonight's holiday party.
1 DAY AGO: i was complaining about work to theresa and steph.
1 YEAR AGO: i was working a temp gig two blocks north of here.
I LOVE: my family, my friends, coffee in the morning, and natural peanut butter.
I HATE: mole crickets, mice, the deep part of the ocean.
I FEAR: being pushed in front of a subway.
I FEEL: anxious.
I HIDE: my diary under my bed.
I DRIVE: nothing no more, folks.
I MISS: porch swings.
I LEARN: to accept where i am very slowly.
I NEED: to use that free crunch membership i have and take a cardio striptease class.
I THINK: the thought of me in a cardio striptease class is hilarious.
FIRSTS...
First piercing: my ears at age 7.
First credit card: i was 18 (and i should have never started down that path.)
First enemy: my former best friend, cora, who stole my boyfriend, joey, in preschool.
First musician you remember hearing in your house: hall & oates.
LASTS...
Last long car ride: from ithaca to nyc in late october.
Last kiss: about two weeks ago.
Last movie seen: "brokeback mountain" (highly recommended)
Last food consumed: pear.
Last phone call: texas.
Last CD played: le tigre.
Last drink drank: venti starbucks coffee with vanilla soy milk, three splenda packets, and nutmeg.
Last time scolded: wha-?
SHORT ANSWER..
I AM: less anxious.
I WANT: to get to party city and buy some cheap-o decorations.
I HAVE: two and a half hours before i can do so.
I WISH: my apartment was twice the size and half the price.
I WONDER: if new york will ever feel like home?
I ALWAYS: put my pants on one leg at a time.
I DANCE: not nearly enough.
I SING: "against all odds" not nearly as well as i thought i did.
I CRY: on occasion.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: as sweet as i should be to my patients.
I WRITE: emails to noella every day.
I WIN: at dominos.
I LOSE: bets often.
I SHOULD: not give myself such a hard time.
FAVORITES...
NUMBER: one.
COLOR(S): black and kelly green.
DAYS: sundays (for the paper).
MONTH: november.
DRINK: coffee.
IN THE LAST 2 DAYS, HAVE YOU...
CRIED? yes.
HELPED SOMEONE? yes. (every day at work.)
GOTTEN SICK? no.
GONE TO THE MOVIES? no.
SAID 'I Love you'? yes.
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: no.
TALKED TO AN EX?: no.
MISSED AN EX?: yes.
WRITTEN IN A DIARY?: no.
HAD A SERIOUS TALK?: yes.
HUGGED SOMEONE?: no.

tonight: holiday party!

tonight i co-host what will be my first party in new york city. i used to co-host parties quite frequently (or perhaps it just seemed frequent) in athens but have been hesitant to do so in the city, as my place is, well, cozy. anyhow, i'm sure i will have (blackmail?) photos to share with my dear reader(s) soon enough. it proves to be a good time, what with a blend of co-workers, family, friends, and acquaintances, all topped off by an appearance by none other than drag queen delight, mona mour! (oh, and rich from fourfour is supposed to be stopping by, too. dream come true!)

check what my roommate wrote in the evite:

The holidays are upon us once again, and this time we are going to celebrate them New York style...Red, Green, & Gold Bonanza. Yes, our apartment is a shoebox, but we'll be cozy as we pile in and booze it up. Hands above the waists, everyone!

So join Annie in her golden Christmas palace (the East has nothing on this chick, baby), Jen in her green-gone-wild den (she'll bring a new meaning to "trimming the tree"), and Andrew in his red-light dungeon (he definitely encourages hands below the waist here).

Please bring a bottle (or eight) of something to share. Egg nog (both vegan and traditional) will be mixed up by the gorgeous hostesses. And at midnight the round-robbing gift exchange begins. To participate, bring a wrapped $10 or less gift...this is a holiday on a budget, folks. Fabulous.

We hope to see you there. We've already called the paramedics and they're on stand-by. It's gonna be one crunkin' Christmas party!

btw, though i was rooting for the mta workers' strike (just for dramatic, chaotic, where-were-you-when-the-strike-of-2005-happened-purposes), it would have put quite a damper on the party -- glad they realized this and pushed the strike off 'til monday!

i am "culturally aware."

in response to a comment on my "fuckin' hipsters" page:
(source: gawker)

Give yourself 1 point for each question you answer yes, or for each statement you agree with. Just like Cosmo, add up your points and check your results at the end.

1) Have you ever commented on Brooklyn Vegan?

2) Without looking it up, can you fill in the blanks in this sentence:
The Dark Room is on _______ between _______ and _______, but why are you going there? That place sucks now.

3) Sure you’ve been to the Tribeca Grand before, but do you remember the name of the Saturday night party that, until recently, called the basement home?

4) You’ve seen David Cross and [enter favorite Stroke here] at a bar, but you didn’t make a big deal out of it, right? After all, they’re just dudes hanging out.

5) In the past six months, have you been to two Fader-sponsored parties? (anybody can luck into one).

6) The ratio of free Sparks or Red Stripe that you’ve consumed to the number of Sparks or Red Stripe you’ve actually paid for is 2:1 or greater.

7) Do you know who Gavin McInnes, Michael T and Todd P are? (Give yourself 1 point for each.)

8) Have you been in a photo, even in the background of a photo, published on The Cobrasnake or Last Night’s Party?

9) Do you know the name of the doorman at Misshapes and Motherfucker?

10) Do you know any of the details about why Death From Above had to change their name to Death From Above 1979?

11) Do you know what Cornerstone is?

12) Have you ever received anything for free — anything at all — from Cornerstone?

13) Do you work for Cornerstone?

14) Can you identify the fake UK buzz band in this group: Arctic Monkeys, Tiny Riot, Test-Icicles, Art Brut?

15) Do you know the procedure for gaining entry into the Alife Rivington Club and Nom de Guerre?

16) Famed graffiti artist Neckface designed T-shirts for a Williamsburg tattoo parlor that’s in the back of an art gallery on Berry and North 9th. Can you name the tattoo parlor?

17) During the summer season that somewhat recently concluded, guys: did you wear a T-shirt with a blazer? Girls: did you wear a pair of
cowboy boots that you had bought before July?

18) Did you DJ at a party/bar/club in 2005?

19) While having a conversation with someone in a bar, has the topic ever turned to how much you both hate Ultragrrrl, even though you both agreed on “how nice she is in person?”

20) Rejoice, the used clothing/record store now located in Williamsburg, was chased out of the Lower East Side because of surging rents. Do you know what LES street it used to be located on?

21) During CMJ three months ago, did you attend two separate parties DJ’d by Steve Aoki … in the same day?

22) Do the following letters mean anything to you: LVHRD?

23) Were you invited to the Subways show at the Northsix tonight by +1?

Results key:

0-4 points: You are a Normal Person. You can probably enjoy a solid hour of Top-40 radio without once considering slashing your wrists. You can talk to your mom about movies you both enjoy. You love hanging out with co-workers, especially when it’s something fun like Happy Hour in Murray Hill. You don’t think there’s anything wrong with living in Queens. You are mentally at peace at all times.

5-9 points: You are Culturally Aware. You understand what “indie rock” is, and you can walk by the Angelika or Sunshine and recognize some of the titles playing, but you always say “Oh! I want to see that!” and never do. You think the OC mix CDs are a great way to discover new bands. You’ve started blowing off some get-togethers with friends for the occasional show at Webster Hall and Irving Plaza. Still, though, you’re not quite sure why it’s cool to like LCD Soundsystem but bad to like The Bravery. You’re walking a fine line right now, and you could go either way.

10-14 points: You are a Hipster. You seek out the latest and greatest music, and you might have a blog. You go to shows at Mercury Lounge, Bowery Ballroom and Northsix several times a month, and most of your friends are hipsters, too. You have little in common with most co-workers or fellow students. You’ve gazed longingly at the Misshapes photo gallery and considered it — maybe you’ve even gone once or twice — but guest lists and Happy Ending after-parties are still a foreign concept, even though you’d love to be a part of it. You’ve stopped hanging out above 14th Street.

15-19 points: You are a Self-Loathing Hipster. You may not have “the look,” but it’s time to come out of the closet as a hipster. You’ve resisted this before, and you probably hate hipsters more than a little bit, but in the back of your mind you know it’s true. You’re already over M.I.A., the Go! Team and Maximo Park. You always know where to go. You’ll go to hipster’d out venues such as Supreme Trading or the Delancey to have a good laugh, but you also can’t dream of hanging out on a Friday or Saturday night at a place that doesn’t play cool music. Special DJ sets and parties at Hiro and Tribeca Grand bore you, but for some reason you’ll always find yourself there. It’s a love-hate thing. You’ve written about your complaints with the scene on your blog.

20-24 points: You are an Unabashed Hipster. Odds are you can’t even concentrate on this because the Bloc Party remix CD is playing through your Mac so loud. And you’re proud of it! You work in music/media/art/fashion/promotion, but the day job doesn’t stop you from going out 4-5 nights a week. You won’t touch it unless it’s an open bar. Either you’re a DJ or you’re in a band. Several of your shirts have no sleeves. For the most part, you’ve stopped eating.

25 points: You are the Hipster Messiah. Generations of hipsters have sung your praises and awaited your arrival so that you could show them precisely how it should be done. You are an immortal. Everybody in the scene has not only heard of you, but would probably recognize you even though they have never met you. Then they would softly whisper to a friend, “That’s such-and-such.” You aren’t even invited to anything because it’s just a given that you know about it and you’ll be there. You work with bands and artists, but only the ones you feel like taking on. You’re not a DJ, per se, but sometimes they’ll ask you to play your favorite records just for shits and giggles. You own more than one headband. When Maureen Callahan needs a quote for a Post article, she calls you. You consider “Bronques” a close friend. You should kill yourself.

we had a moment.

no, for reals, y'all. we grabbed hands as he walked off stage.

i can die a happy woman.

(check out my flickr page for more pictures.)

tomorrow night...

i'll be living the dream!

the ups and downs.

what a weekend!

first off, i broke things off with the agent. it just didn't feel right. i do hope we can build a friendship, but i'm no longer feeling anything more than that. after discussing things over at a local coffee house, we said our goodbyes outside the train station on 1st avenue and 14th street. while parting, a woman with an apparent substance addiction approached us and asked us for money. we politely stated that we had none and went back to saying our goodbyes. the agent walked down into the subway and i attempted to walk off. this is when things got weird: the woman stood in my way and wouldn't let me pass. i excused myself and tried to walk in a different direction and yet, she still would not let me pass. my heart started to race. she starts screaming at me, "fuck you! no, god damnit! fuck you!" this, of course, drew a crowd. a man ran up and stepped between the two of us so that i could pass and i started walking quickly down the street. i then hear the agent's voice: he has come back up the stairs from the subway and starts screaming at the woman, "leave her alone!" she starts screaming back at him, but by this time, i'm down the block and not looking back. he calls me twenty minutes later. the woman pulled a knife on him. fucking pulled a knife on him. after spotting the knife, he high-tailed it back into the subway.

my god.

so, that's that.

later in the evening, i attended a live taping of "saturday night live". originally our tickets were for the rehearsal show but we were bumped up recently to live. so amazing. granted, i haven't watched the show in a long time, but nonetheless it was exciting to see how it is put together. the best part? we had vip seats: only 30 people are able to sit on the floor where all the skits are being performed; everyone else sits in the balcony a floor above. (in reruns, you can see me in a turquoise sweater right after dane cook finishes his monologue.) i mean, "weekend update" was performed >this close< to our seats. i felt like i could have reached out and touched tina and amy, if i had been so inclined.

because we had vip tickets, we were able to line up backstage beforehand. besides the myriad cast members, we spotted gob from "arrested development," mike white of "chuck and buck" fame, and ben from "felicity" (kate moss flipped her lid over this). after the show, we waited outside the studio and after making eyes at seth meyers and brushing against "ben", kate moss and i decided to follow them and their entourage. we walked 3 or 4 blocks to the bar where the after party was being held and almost got in. in fact, we were just walking with the crowd behind seth and "ben" and seth says, "all of these people are with me." we walked in, and then the doorguy says, "um, wait a minute. what's your name?" and looks at me. out of my mouth spills, "uh, we're with seth." again, "what's your name?" i tell him my (real) last name and he looks on his list. asks kate moss for her last name. she tells him. he says, "just a minute" and walks outside. instead of booking it into the bar, we decide to fold and walk to the subway, kicking ourselves the whole way.

crazy.

oh, and congrats to my team! sugar bowl-bound!

fuckin' hipsters.

check out this picture and then check out the comment thread on gothamist. what do you think?

also, in non-hipster related news: on the train this morning, i looked up at a subway placard explaining how to go about retreiving one's lost property. there were graphics to accompany the information. along with the usual assortment of mittens, ipods, purses and the like that an individual might leave on a subway, there were also pictures of (get this) a wooden leg and a cobra.

amazing. i love this city.

diagnosis.

i have "an acute case of dramamamaitis." (thanks, kenniebloggins.)

i s'pose i do.

things are better with the agent. we're hanging out tomorrow night if i can muster up the energy. every night this week i've done SOMEthing:

saturday: yummy salad with with the agent
sunday: yummy ethiopian food with scarny, caro, and kate moss
monday: yummy pierogies and broccoli! with the agent
tuesday: yummy asian fusion food with scarny
wednesday: yummy vietnamese food with scarny and kate moss
thursday: yummy vegetarian soul food with scarny, kate moss, alabee, and latimer

so so so tired -- but it sure beats watching endless hours of tv.

so, tomorrow: hang with the agent
saturday: "saturday night live" with kate moss
sunday: alabee's birthday -- dominos and papa john's pizza in w'burg!

(bye, scarny! until, what? next month?! loved having you here!)

(btw, two new fave blogs. check 'em!)

airing dirty laundry.

okay, so if you like someone and then all of a sudden they turn into a raving, self-deprecating monster, i.e., "i have no idea why you like me," "i am so fucked up," "if i were you, i wouldn't go out with me again" but then simultaneously tell you how fucking amazing you are... you would believe that they aren't trying to preemptively end it, correct?

correct.

why is it that men like this are attracted to me?

i'm not sure where to go with this guy. i do like him, but honey, he's gotta grow a pair. (ooh, jen, that's mean.) as i asked him last night, if you like someone, why hand that person a myriad of reasons as to why they shouldn't like you back?

ugh. dating. now i remember why i dug staying single.

the weekend ends.

apparently, i cannot handle brazilian weed. got terribly high on thanksgiving; closed my eyes and felt like i was doing somersaults. zoned out in front of the tv for what seemed like hours. fell asleep on kate moss' rug.

the worst part? the agent was there and witnessed the entire thing. i'm so foolish.

the best part? he wanted to go out with me again. (can't tell if this guy is a keeper or plum crazy.)

we went out last night to enid's. had some drinks and dinner. i...

...

... really like the boy. he, perhaps surprisingly, really likes me, too.

ugh, it's all so cute.

tofurkey day potluck!

check out the menu, yo:

mushroom pesto
spinach dip
hummus
crackers and crudites
butternut squash, apple and brandy soup
rolls
tofu roast
bacon-wrapped turkey (for those meat-eaters)
gravy
soysage, apple, and cranberry dressing
mashed potatoes
brussels sprouts with caramelized onions
green bean casserole
apple cranberry crumble
sweet potato pie
hot apple cider and spiced rum
wine wine wine

jealous? it's going to be an event! first annual! can't wait -- oh, and the agent is coming. i mean, why not meet my best friend and my brother and about ten other friends or acquaintances after just one date? i mean, why not?

more catching up.

a) i haven't an idea how i got the "unfortunate dermatological malady" but it seems to be clearing up. it's called pityriasis rosea and it's caused by a virus. not much is known about the bugger. it'll be sticking around for a while longer but at least it's no longer spreading. ugh. delightful, yes?
b) "bonfire" seems great so far and it's fun reading a book set in new york while i , myself, am set in new york. i think i may read "catcher" again soon. any other suggestions?
c) i did, indeed, go on a date with my ex's booking agent last night and had a wonderful time. my ex lovingly refers to said agent as his "big jewish teddy bear." (i swear to you, my ex is not gay.) anyhow, the agent seems to be just as neurotic as i am. we have much in common, except, you know, i'm not jewish. whatevs! mazel tov!
d) yes, caddy: karma. it's all about karma.

catching you up.

no, kenniebloggins, i apparently do not blog much.

so, to catch you (and everyone) up:

1. i was accepted to volunteer on the hillary campaign -- had to send my resume to d.c. and the hq here in new york. word came down a couple o' days ago. i start on the 28th. if i get to meet bill i will fucking die. for reals, yo.
2. i have an unfortunate dermatological malady which is, for all intents and purposes, chicken pox without the itch. ugh. it will be with me for 6-8 weeks. jealous?
3. i smooched a boy last night who has been on "law & order". of that i know you're jealous.
4. i have a crush on my ex's booking agent. i have a date with this agent on monday, and we're going to a rather pricey restaurant.
5. reading "bonfire of the vanities" and boy, does tom wolfe love to use exclamation points!
6. !!!!!!!
7. going to volunteer with ny cares this holiday season; going to my orientation with kate moss tomorrow. karma!
8. i'm a little too obsessed with the valarie plame sitch.
9. i got a new cell phone. i love it.

i guess that's it. i'm sure there's more, but, well, no. maybe not.

where did holden procure his candy?

i hadn't really thought about the child contingent in the city at halloween; perhaps, in my mind's eye, they all boarded a bus to the 'burbs where they could trick-or-treat like the average kid? but no, on the way home from the gym tonight, i see a group of decked-out tykes going door-to-door at bodegas, grocery stores, drugstores, and bagel shops.

terribly depressing.

miscellaneous.

just got back from seeing "good night, and good luck" (highly recommended) and the preview for "brokeback mountain" made my toes curl in delight!

peanut butter bumpers cereal--found at your local natural food store--is yummy as all get out, especially when paired with vanilla silk.

going to bed early on friday nights ain't so bad. one can get up early and get a prime spot in the local coffeehouse, where one can read the times in its entirety and knit for a while. it's a pleasant way to start the morning.

no costume for me this year. horrors of all horrors, yes? halloween was such a production every year in athens. well, see, every weekend is such a production in nyc, so kate moss and i are just going to go out and get drunk. hopefully we'll find some boys to smooch on.

(though i hope to smooch on a certain boy tomorrow night--but we'll see if we hang out after he gets off work. he's trouble, folks. TROUBLE.)

anyone want to come over and do my laundry? i detest doing laundry. should i just drop it off again? it's such a bourgeois service.

oh, and GO DAWGS. we're 7-0. let's keep it going!

vacation '99!

a few tidbits i picked up while on my vacation upstate (and in the city, during sarah's visit, when i was not at work):

a) moosewood is TOTALLY overrated
b) who knew i could love tasting wine as much as consuming copious amounts of it?
c) i have a renewed interest/passion in veganism--for the tenth time in my life
d) the pig is my power animal and i have the pictures to prove it
e) i miss driving fast and urban sprawl (namely, michael's and wal-mart)--for reals, yo
f) polly disco is one of the best road trip companions ever; maisy wouldn't have been so calm
g) it's not a road trip unless you stop at taco bell for bean burritos fresco style!
h) lucas wineries is the disneyland of vineyards, and that's not a good thing
i) i never want to see that woman do the "riesling dance" again
j) soft rock stations are the best--but rick dees' top 40 ain't that bad, either
k) that one wilco song is fantastic--and i still freak out when i hear "your cover's blown" by belle & sebastian
l) turkeys have personalities--especially tom turkey with those pretty, soft feathers
m) on vacation, calories don't exist
n) the crate & barrel outlet is worth taking that bus up from the city (i'll never buy plastic kitchenware again)
o) eating is the main source of entertainment for most new yorkers--as was apparent through the eyes of an out-of-towner
p) vacations such as these must become an annual occurrence. next up? mexico! (or was it new mexico?)
q) oh, during a rousing game of m.a.s.h, i learned that i will live in providence, rhode island, in a mansion, with no kids, married to (censored), work as a dominatrix, and drive a rickshaw. holla!

s.m. and kate moss--feel free to add to the memories.

pictures are forthcoming.

i feel like a hundred bucks.

thanks to the dawgs win, i'm $100 richer!

(my dad is contemplating sending me the money in one dollar bills marked "go vols"...)

my new read.

anyone else?

alert.

my inbox has been flooded with emails.

from the ap:

NEW YORK - Authorities were increasing mass transit security after word of a credible threat of a bombing on the city's subway system, a congressman said in Washington.

"Obviously, this is a significant threat," said Rep. Peter King (news, bio, voting record), R-N.Y., chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee.

In New York, a law enforcement official, speaking on condition of anonymity in advance of an official announcement, said the threat is "specific to place, time and method."

The official said authorities are especially concerned about bags on the subway, and plan to flood New York's mass transit system with officers.

FBI officials in Washington said they were not aware of any viable threat to New York's subway system.

An estimated 4.5 million passengers ride the New York subway on an average weekday. The system has more than 468 subway stations.

i've been on a walking kick anyway and haven't been on a train since sunday. tonight, after work, i'm walking east to second avenue and then south from 48th street.

would like to get away from hellish midtown asap.

my bro crashing gracie mansion.

he never ceases to amaze me.
(btw, i think he's grabbing bloomie's ass.)

the sun makes me shine.

i realize that i am, oh, about three years behind the times on this one, but i loved seeing the polyphonic spree. bubbles and crescendos and colorful robes!

(do you imagine that tim gets to sleep with all the pretty girls in the choir in true cult-leader fashion?)

the show, while sparsely attended (because, fuck! scarnsworth wasn't there!), it was a lot of fun. beck was pretty incredible; at one point he's singing with his acoustic guitar while his backing band eats dinner on stage and then they suddenly use their half-full water glasses and cutlery to provide a backing percussion.

belle & sebastian didn't play "your cover's blown" but did play "stars of track and field" and "judy and the dream of horses" so i'll forgive 'em.

the train ride home was exhausting. the n was running on the local track and so it took us over an hour to get home, i believe.

all in all, a fantastic weekend. hopefully scarny will tell his place of employment to fuck itself and he'll move up here.

(twago, scarny! twago!)